let these thoughts bleed.

i've been writing for a minute now & it never seems like i could ever run out of the things to write about. i've been feeling for a minute now & it never seems like i could ever run out feelings & emotions to hurt from. i've been thinking & it never seems like i could ever run out of thoughts. i've been pumping this blood through my veins for a minute now & it never seems like i could ever run out of this blood that runs through my veins no matter how many times i've bled. i've been making mistakes for a minute now & it never seems like there won't ever be another one made. so this time, let's pretend the world is my mother and i have fallen. please, please just let me bleed my words, feelings, thoughts, & mistakes so i can heel on my own & on my own time.

where do i start? the beginning or the end? it all never makes sense no matter what point you start from. i just know i want it out and off of my chest. there are so many things that go on in my world, my life, that no one knows about. you know they say the best secrets are kept in books. you put a book down & the only way to know what's going on in the world of those pages are by picking it up and reading it. yet, no one ever has the "time" or "patience" to do so. this is my book. these are my secrets.

i've been in love & i think im almost sure its hurting to admit this. at the moment i have tears washing the skin on my face. for something to hurt it sure is cleansing. it feels good and hurts at the same time. idk what to think honestly, im soo lost right now. anyhow i would consider myself a strong minded person when it comes to falling for a person and opening up and letting them in my world. a lot of people can claim they know me but it's only one who can really say he knows me & can tell me anything and i can & will believe it. for some reason im continuously thinking of this person and seeing from a distance what goes on in his world from a distance.. what to do about this but try and forget and let go.. but how when there's no one who i feel can make me feel the happiness he gives to me. it's a gift almost when im around him.. it's like the morning the snow first falls and a childs first snow angel. it's special. it's rare. it's once in a life time for me. love isn't promised to no one but when it comes hold on to it for dear life. im such a rock its crazy i can't break down for or over no one i can't feel for no one but myself but when the tears wash his face like they do mine it's almost as if they do for me too. idk if that makes any sense but thats the best way i can explain it. im doing my best to let go and move on but its hard when you've never had or is rare to have. does anyone else understand..

just let me fall
just let me bleed
just let me learn.

love life.
love you.
me.

.. its been ..

so it's been a good minute.. actually, it's been about a week and a half since i've been at school.
WAIT! don't jump on my neck just yet. i was missing school to get money to pay my bills..
power was off.. but we're back on top :) new couch microwave George Foreman grill trash can etc...

anyhow, so today i had an interview with abercombie & fitch!
that was exciting! lol. hopefully i get the post i applied for.
later on today i will go back and apply for another position just to be on the safe side.

so i have anywhere from a week to two weeks before finding out if i am hired for the position.

well its been just about 60+ plus days and i haven't heard from the guy that left my house (from this day) 60+ days ago to find himself in an orange, gray, blue, or white uniform.. ugghh im going to be as patient as i can... i mean they do say those who wait get more than what they expected.
LMFAO ok they don't say that exactly but i did so yeah lol ..

anyhow .. im off to bed.. turning it in kind of early tonight (2:07am) im going to school tomorrow!

goodnight ppl

definition of fly.

it's been a minute.

so im up and im thinking, what is it that has me all baffeled in the mind.. what am i seriously getting out this "situation" this .. this "thing" we call a "relationship" .. i mean .. one minute we're super kewl and the next its like we dont know eachother. is it me? am i not asking questions that has logical answers to them?.. i mean idk what to do anymore .. and for some odd reason ... some very ODD reason, i continue to stick it out and just see where this can go..

im doing so good, here in ATL.. i really am.. im staying focused.. im gettin what i want (for the most part) and im doing things other than sit around and worry about what fit to wear to the next function.. i mean thats never a bad thing but it is when thats the only thing yure doing with yur life.. idk, i guess i can say im proud of myself for once and i appreciate all that was installed in me from all the ppl who took the time to mold me as i was growing and even correct some mistakes as i am now .. i really appreciate it ..

theres just something about ATL that made me hate it so much and when i say hate i literally mean HATE .. GREATLY DISPISE!but now that im back.. more mature, more of an adult there was nothing really i could say bad about this place.. it was never the place.. moreso the people who remained here.. theyre such bottom feeders.. like .. idk .. the worst word possible to describe someone and thats them.. so immature, so young minded, so petty and childish .. the games got old by the minute. im happy i didnt stay here for the years i was in LA.. hm, speaking of which .. im missing it .. but not missing it to the point where im crying over it.. idk when i go back i know for fact a great blessing will be there waiting for me to open it .. :)

enjoy the pics.. new hair color!

xxo mwah

hcharlie's angel

while i was out..

I baught a new phone, which means I have a new number due to people stalking me.. Seriously! I love it.. The blackberry 8300 I knw bb has been out and in but before I only had the bb pearl.. Which isn't ish compared to this one hehe..

I'm bloggin from my phone :)

Another thing I did while I was gone, well this is new. I colored my hair blackM pics will be up soon.

Nyt :)

Dear ME

dear me,

just felt as though i should write this for me to look back on someday.. im feeling a lot different now-a-days.. i see things in a different light, a more mature prospective.. im understanding the wants and needs.. the expected and least expected .. im understanding life and im seeing the changes im making as im growing up in this crazy world. well this is all i had to say..

just when yu least expect something, yur life changes in a major way.. & whether or not yu think yure mentally capable of dealing wit wudev the situation is, yu have to deal wit it & theres no running away from it. responsibility is a big part of our lives. i have no more room to complain, i take everything as a blessing & a lesson. Im a full time student; i go to school faithfully everyday up at 7 there by 8:45 & out at 4:30pm.. i work everyday.. never taking breaks.. & now, i have two liddle girls to take care of, & of course it's only right, theyre my God daughters. im going to put my all into raising them correctly & teaching them things i had to learn on my own. Life is a one time thing, don't take anything for granted. Thats my lesson of the day.

WHiLE i WAS G0NE: PiKS.

As I was taking a liddle break from the world I made a big change with myself .. I like it.. Takes time getting use to .. but hey .. wudev .. It's me or nothing, flaws and all .. lol .. (for those of yu who don't like short hair)

DID ANYONE MISS ME?

THE RETURN!

So it is .. 12:24 am.. I'm studying .. (i find that i retain the best information when it's really late).

I have been gone for quite some time & I think it would be quite the pleasure for me to fill you all in .. OMG IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCHHHH! lol.. however i enjoyed my break!

Thank you all for commenting the post! Hope you enjoyed everything lol ..

Hm, lets see.. March 2nd I started work! (Doc Green; salad bar & grill)..

March 5th, I started school! (Empire Beauty & Cosmetology School)..

I was considering getting this truck, however, my mother is getting it instead & I am getting a VW Passat =] yayyy me!

I'm learning so much in school it's ridiculous.. I never knew there was so many interesting things within the field of "cosmetology' ..

and before you all go and judge me.. understand this.. I am an Esthetician.. a specialist in the beautification of the skin and body. I do not ONLY style hair, I engage in facials, nails, eyebrows, the care of skin, etc.. Before you judge me & my decisions.. YES I will & can make a living off of hair.. believe me, it's a high market & it's in high demand. Am I making a living off of it ONLY? NO, my goal is to become a well rounded stylist..

PLZ PPL DO NOT JOCK MY STYLE lol .. jp Im clearly fine with you becoming motivated off of my ambitions =] ..

The program that I am in will last me 11 months.. and then once I've graduated I will go to State Board and preform certain procedures in front of them as they critique. I will also take a written test there in front of them.

Following along with receiving my Masters in Cosmetology, I will then go to a fashion school where I will obtain my Bach in fashion. =] get my drift?

A stylist is not only one thing. Fashion is not only clothes.

I want to be fashion stylist capable of styling in all ways, forms, & fashions. I want to be able to do facials, make-up, hair, dressing "styling" a person, doing their eye brows.. ect .. ect! I want to be WELL ROUNDED! The more you are able to do, the more you will accessed and get paid =]

I will post pictures later on.. maybe tomorrow or some time before Monday!

ps.

i've been working so hard.

i go to school full time 9am-4:30 pm

then work.. not every day but 9 times out of 10 every day

& i go until closing .. IM WORKING HARD! & IM FOCUSED!

until next time..

peace&love

BREAKING NEWS!

So as you all may know, I was taking a break.. well.. I planned on it.. Until I couldn't help but notice the sounds that I heard outside my window when I woke up this morning. It didn't sound like rain.. because that's the sound that put me to sleep last night.. & it wasn't the sound of the wind blowing the leaves that were laying around either. This sound was a sound of its own, as any, yet this sound was soft.. loud.. idk it was just it's own thing.. I can't really compare it to anything or actually describe it. Anyhow, I'd like to introduce you to REAL snow in ATLANTA, GA.. in MARCH!!!! note this is the first time (in my life) that I've ever seen it snow this hard, and this heavy, & actually stick.. my sister has to get the snow off of her car.. I feel like I'm back at home (Chicago).. well, it's not snowing that hard but it's hard for Atlanta.

ps. im going back on my break.. i just thought i should post this before it stopped and i become mad at myself for not taking the pictures. =] ..until next time..

~peace&love~

OVERRLY DUMB BORED ON FB LASTNIGHT; lmao

Jayron Afshar at 6:49am February 28
lmfao ahahahah "what would jesus do?" omg ahahan bitch u look bored makin all these videos ahahn fyi roxy lives out here now.. so dont try to make to go bacc.n ny is gonna be dumb poppn.. but my flight doesnt stop in atl =(bitch those numbers are notifications u dumb fuccwhat a waste of ur lifewaiitttt know what i jus remembered.. "yea im sorry my daddy was dark"lmfao ahahhaha

Jacinda Travis at 11:38am February 28
ahahahahahahahahahaha omg that was so funny! llmaoooooo yu suck .. why doesnt your flight stop here

Roxy Wales-Walden at 12:09pm February 28
you r a fuxking fool!!!! the end!!! lol ahahahahmm...get a life and 2nite go to club crucial!!! thats shit be poooopppiiin!!!! lolwell and it jerks♥ROXy♥

Jacinda Travis at 12:45pm February 28
lmaooo.. =] hehehe.. its soooo sad roxy it really is.. where did my life go. its like i turn 35 in two seconds.. lol

mann down; CODE RED!

staying away from the blogging for a while.. when i return, whenever that may be i will be sure to update you all .. i'll def keep reading your blogs, may not leave comments.. just bc i feel the need to be silent for a while .. im half awake typing this.. and one things on my mind.. [him]..

util next time..

~peace&love~..

ps.. i'll leave yu with this..

word of the day:

TIME

n, : the system of those sequential relations that any event has to any other, as past, present, or future; indefinite and continuous duration regarded as that in which events succeed one another

WORD OF THE DAY..

Ladies, ladies, ladies..

if there isn't one thing people (excuse me a guy*) can't stand is a nosy female.
im sure your mothers raised you better (& i speak to no one particularly)..
im just making a statement.. there is nothing more UNattractive than a loud, ghetto,
rude, "stank" attitude female. HELLOO. thats a turn OFF.. & you wonder why you cant keep a "man" well honey thats why.. whether youre a hoe or a respectful young lady.. if you are loud, ghetto, rude, "stank" attitude and whatnot.. you will quickly loose whomever it is you have.
its better to been seen, rather than heard [FIRST].. and with that said..

the word of the day:

obstreperous
adjective, : Noisy or unruly.

Demanding? Naa Just Requesting.

This particular post was requested. Im speaking to you & i hope you fully understand me..

(lemme clear my throat)

you see when i open my eyes i want to smile

and when they close to reopen

i want to smile.

when i breath

i want that fresh breath of air to be givin to me

because you went deep to put it there..

what i want?

to make someone feel the same as me

to feel like that never ending question,

yeah that "why" question, to finally be answered.

and im sitting here listening to your music & whennn...

i thought i had writers-block.. the sound of your voice cleared it away.

what i want in a guy you inquire?

i want him to be my NyQuil,

my Dayquil.

could he possibly be my Tylenol..

relieve my pain, sooth my muscles,

clear my headaches away.. ?

would that be to much to ask.

what i want in the next guy..

well they say the next is the best.

could you make me regret not meeting you soona..

and i apologize if i confuse ya..

but...

i want you to fill that void..

put the piece where its suppose to be..

& make me feel like another woman..

make my make-believe become real life fantasies..

oh so now its about me & my needs..

well give me time to clear my throat so i can speak..

someone like you.. someone of your character seems fictional.. but you are oh so real

and thats what i want.. some one to be an asshole ya know; check me when i "oops i fukd up"

someone to give me that "ooo yeaa" biting my lip.. no really biting my tongue because i said i could handle it..

aha playing the big girl role.. someone to pull my hair,

get liddle aggressive .. get me a liddle scared..

but remember what i want is for a guy to be able to make believe again.. to take me to "we're only connecting as.. we're only connecting .. only connecting as. us. are you willing to learn..?"

there. for once i spoke up.. & this is what i want..

ENJOY!

until next time..

~peace&love~

LIFE LESSON

I was talking to my sister today about this situation that occurred between my best friend, her sister, and myself. I'd love to tell the whole story, however, that would be extremely to long and it might confuse you all. Sooooo, long story short.. I def learned a lesson today..

3 values to live by:

*there are principals that we as people should learn, understand, and follow.

*there are people who will be in your life for a second, a minute, and an hour.

*there are 3 types of people you will come across.. your reason, your season, and your life time.

I've learned that no matter how long a friendship has been, there is always be an end to the fun. I have learned that no matter what the situation is at hand, you always need to be the bigger person. I have also learned that, you know who your true friends are when you come into a situation and it isn't handled correctly, a person cannot sit down and talk to you one on one like a young adult & if there is a person (or persons) that cannot complete the task at hand, then they just weren't meant to be in your life & the friendship isn't worth fighting for. I will never beg for a friendship (keep in mind) however, I WILL fight for one when I believe it's truly worth it. Just thought to add this as well, you will find strength each time you cry, & life is like a car you have your side mirrors to keep you from getting into "accidents", you have your seat belt to keep you safe, & lastly you have your rear view. With your rear view you are allowed to look back: but only for a second at a time, because if you dwell on the past (whats behind you) you will not be able to steer straight and keep focus on whats in front of you.

WORDs OF THE DAY:

PRINCIPLE

noun, : guiding sense of the requirements and obligations of right conduct: a person of principle

FRIENDSHIP

noun, : the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.

LOYALTY

noun, : the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations

RESPECT

noun, : esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

HONESTY
noun, : the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness

until next time..

~peace&love~

a bit of poetry pt2.. WTH;

wth; these feelings i have are unexplainable

i feel as though my mind is moving so fast

when my heart has yet to play catch up

where does my heart sit; 

the left of breast 

or behind my vision

thought i could have it all

do i really have to choose

theres nothing on the line but my emotions

youre mental explosions are domestic 

as of now we're living off of impulse 

and idk if this makes sense to you 

but at the end of the day it is what it is 

and right now what is this?

wth; i cant sleep confused as a day

with clouds looking as if its going to rain

& the suns shining so bright 

its hurting me, it wasn't suppose to be this way

where did we go wrong? my ipod plays

wth.. 

& i say i will play by the book

but wheres the book for me to see what to do

when the day changes so does the page 

and i have yet to turn one,

in the front of my mind i have everything perfectly planned out

but as usual its the depths of my hearts where the real choices are to sleep

and maybe my intellectual thought process is above and beyond yours but 

thats something i can't help.. and im still attracted to you because of our differences 

and right now i have no direction, im letting my fingers do the writing im just watching

so bare with me if you have yet to understand where i am going with this. but wth..

ENJOY!

i made a post the other day saying i would follow some new rules.

but i've seem to forgotten, i live life on the edge. i don't play by the rules.

so for now on im just posting .. fashion, poetry, thought/emotions, yu knw the reg.

a bit of poetry pt 1.

sometimes in life yu come across an unknown love

the kind that makes yu rush

makes yu wonder the 7 wonders

the simpliest thought of touch by a person

the bittering, arguing, & cursing

all the love, pain, heaven, & hell

you stick around wishing for the better

WELL...

sometimes in life yu come across an unknown love

& when yure really thinking,

yure thinking yure in love

get ready for this.

..LOVES NOT READY FOR YOU..

THOUGHT 1

Now I know I'd be probably in the wrong if I did this, however, my attitude is tattooed.. which means it's permanent, so i guess we should address it huh! Usually, I'd already curse the person out.. BUT this time I won't .. I wouldn't be gaining anything .. so I will just let it go.. KARMA is a bigger BITCH than I.. so I clearly have nothing to worry about.. ENJOY!

dj (2:06:46 PM): ddont call the #404
dj (2:06:52 PM): anymore
ms FENDi BBy (2:06:55 PM): um. okay, why
dj (2:07:16 PM): Y because i just said so
dj (2:07:21 PM): That's why
ms FENDi BBy (2:07:44 PM): i guess. thats sus. but iight.

like if yu just got this random a* aim from someone.. and all yu want to know is why.. now keep in mind, it's a person you *use* to talk to.. and *barely* speak to anymore. this person does nothing for me in or out of my life.. so either way idc.. just want to know yur thoughts..

WORD OF THE DAY..

Before I post my word of the day.. i just thought to entertain you all with a free style video from a few of the homies.. ENJOY!

Word of the Day:

carberator
noun, : one who gives another sh*t for eating carbohydrates

until next time..

~peace&love~

Facebook Talk

lol. i love when i get comments on my status that turns into convo's.. =]

Jacinda Status: Tell me, who I have to be to get some reciprocity. 2:45pm

Tyler Curry at 2:52pm February 21
cinda!

Jacinda Travis at 2:53pm February 21
hey girl hey! whats up doll

Tyler Curry at 2:55pm February 21
nm how u been?

Jacinda Travis at 2:55pm February 21
oh wait yu were telling me who i have to be. yeah that's a tid bit challenging at this moment. idk who she is anymore. how have yu been .. where the hell are yu.. i've been home and have not seen yu seen everybody else minus yu.

Jacinda Travis at 2:55pm February 21
ive been good though.=]

Tyler Curry at 3:02pm February 21
shitt i been chillen ready to get away from these childish ass brookwood bitches.

Jacinda Travis at 3:06pm February 21
now idk who yu might be talkin about but i def feel that. but that is high school for yu.. yu learn who yur true freinds are & who the fake ones might be. yu'll live though. what doesn't kill yu makes yus trongers.. mentally! what else is new..

Tyler Curry at 3:09pm February 21
umm..chillen really just makin moves everyweeked.we getting up next weekend k?

Jacinda Travis at 3:10pm February 21
i hear yu on that note. yea girl that's fine i will send yu my number in a message lol can't have everyone knowin the celly lol

Tyler Curry at 3:11pm February 21
ook.


So this kid request to be my friend, I accept, we conversed. As we were getting deeper into our conversation he said to me.. [let me side track] now I was speaking to one of my fellow bloggers last night before turning myself into bed, and he was telling me the same thing. Guess if I begin to hear something more than once (on a positive note) I should believe it.. anyhow.. this kid on facebook said to me.. & this is how our convo went..

2:35pmSage
oh ok
well damn Jacinda it seem to me like u got da whole package
2:36pm Jacinda
lol. what do you mean (thanks)
2:36pmSage
looks, funny, smart, goals.
2:37pm Jacinda
aw thanks. i try .. i try really hard. i don't want to have to depend on someone else and be a mess when im old in age i want to already be to the point where i can just live and until then im working hard for it
but yu too.
2:38pmSage
i appreciate dat. my pops always taught me to paper chase not skirt chase but i might change up now.
2:39pm Jacinda
lose money chasing females never lose females chasing money.. but i feel what yur sayin.. it's ok to take a break lol
2:40pmSage
lol

I appreciate it greatly, when people I don't know share their complimenting thoughts towards me.. idk maybe it's just me but it really makes my day, evening, & night. I'd like to believe it's healthy =].

LEARNiNG NEW WAYs..

I'm getting into this new thing.. where I'm changing the way I post.. I mean I will continue to express my thoughts, however, I'm adding my fashion tips: do's & don'ts.. whats hot & whats not.. which includes hair, clothes, make-up, shoes, accessories, etc.

Call it a Schedule if You Must..

Mondays:

word of the day**,

thoughts (including poems)**,

things i did or want(ed) to do,

eye catchers**

Tuesdays:

word of the day**,

thoughts (including pictures)**,
things i did or want(ed) to do,

eye catchers**

Wednesdays:

word of the day**,

things i did or want(ed) to do,

eye catchers**

Thursdays:

word of the day**,

completely post whatever i may feel,

eye catchers**

Fridays:

word of the day**,

completely post whatever i may feel,

FAB FINDS**

eye catchers**

make-up tips**

Saturdays:

word of the day**,

word on twitter**,

word of facebook**

Sundays:

word of the day**,

No post. anything interesting will be posted on the following day (Monday)

I will be following this "schedule" as strictly as possible, so bare with me. =]

** indicates topics that will be continuously posted; in other words, these are topics that you are more than likely to find on my blog on those days.. no topic will be repeated!

with the above stated.. I'd like to introduce you all to the FIRST word of the day!

Word of the Day:
cleaverage
verb, : To affect a man's decision making process by wearing a low necked dress.

until next time..

~peace&love~

BY THE WAY.. SHOW MY HOMEGIRL SOME BLOG LOVE & BECOME A FOLLOWER!

HER NAME IS AMBER & SHE'S RATHER INTERESTING..
SHE IS A GREAT WRITER (IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF)

THANKS & ENJOY!

click the picture: it's a link