Jan 7, 2009

Such Thing As Perfect?

TODAY: my day started early.. received a phone call from a person
who will remain nameless (Mr. Anonymous) around 9:20 am.. and for those of you who may be reading this and you know me ..
DONT EVER CALL ME THAT EARLY unless youre dying.. and even then you might not want to call me because it all depends on if i even consider you a friend.. lol j/p.. so anyhow .. i basically want to say this person makes me smile .. (from ear to ear) makes me feel butterflies in my tummy and idk why because we've only hung out once .. (so far) .. but theres just this thing .. and idk what that "thing" is just yet but whatever it is i sure want to find out more about it .. i mean idk idk idk IDK I D KKKKKKKKKK! lol .. he said "..this is to perfect huh?" and that just it .. when things get to perfect for me, something ends up wrong and whatever it is never seems to work out .. hhm (sigh) .. i guess we'll just have to see, right? until next time..

QQ: if this world we live in isn't perfect, then how is it that some of us stumble across perfect moments.. perfect people.. perfect anything? and if something seems so perfect, how come it ends up the opposite of what you wanted.. what you expected?

LESSON: no, theres no such thing as perfect (in reality), however, the best way to see if what you think is perfect is to give time a chance ..


I Said I Wouldn't Do This.. But it's WAYNE

Jan 6, 2009

Read & Pay Attention

TONIGHT: i spent quite sometime today figuring out a lot of things as far as this school stuff goes, and i must say i am more than impressed with myself because i am taking this very seriously. like, honestly.. never in a million years would i say im going to college.. but now i want to make something of myself and be somebody in this world that helps make a change whether its liddle or big. here's a liddle note i was tagged in on facebook .. until next time .. enjoy!

LESSON: strive for the best.. reach for the stars and beyond.. =]

"Alright, first off, u cannot love, w/out 1st loving YOURSELF. lets just start that off and i will go into detail about it as we expound on how 2 increase yo SWAG 1.) We r now out of high school so of course every1 wants 2 have fun in college & i think u should do so, but not at the expense of hurting yourself. wat i mean by that is that the one of the only ways u can increase your SWAG, is by being FOCUSED. now don't get me wrong, & all those who no me no this, but i party hard just like anybody else cause i love 2 have a good time & dance, but at the same time, u have 2 no that there will ALWAYS be a Sensations, Ricks, Motions, Club Miami, wherever you go, but they aint gone get yo where u wanna go. Education is wat u r n college 4, so there is no point in wastin your $ (or if u lucky yo parents'), so do wat ________(fill in the blank) gotta do 2 get yours & dont allow ppl or situations 2 deter you from the goal of increasing your knowledge, & ultimately, excelling in college and GRADUATING!!! Everything you do know can affect your future in a positive or negative way, but it's on you 2 decide which way.2.) Another tip on increasin your SWAG, is YOU GOTTA KNOW YOURSELF. everybody talkin about they real, & come c about me & all dat mess, takin the word completely out of context. Bein real aint about bein a goon, or bein ready 2 throw hands all da time (even though u gotta do wat u gotta do), but bein real means bein true 2 yourself and who u r. U r at the pt n life where one slip up or good time can change your life drastically. Why fight when you could lose a scholarship? u got somethin goin on way bigger than wat that fool is try 2 get u 2 lose, & maybe they tryin u so that u can lose it. Why steal when it could go on your record, which could prohibit u from gettin the job u want? Y go bare when they make protection? (And side note, rubbers r semiporous, which means they have little holes in them not 2 mention if you have sex 4 a while, the friction can cause some tears, so fellas even though it may feel GREATTTTTTT, i doubt you would want to have a little ____ (fill in the blanK), so just pull out) If u r going to have sex, then b safe and learn all the ways to protect youself since they dont teach us in school (thanks Bush). If you r a relationship guy, then don't let who you hang around change how u act towards women and how u treat them. I no i don't like a girl who i heard done let x amount of people hit. Where is the mystery in that? Also don't 4get that people love 2 attach themselves 2 something great & unique, so it could be that these ppl u might be tryin 2 change 4 & impress, could be trying 2 get like u, so y change 2 b like them? Or my favorite, they don't rly like u, & r just using u 4 their own reasons and gains 2 get friends or wateva the case is. 3.) The 3rd tip 4 increasin your SWAG is my all time most favorite advice (Nic, i love u), and it's that you have 2 think POSITIVE. If it aint positive and helpin you grow, then no matter how hard it is, you have 2 let It Go like Keyshia Cole homie. U Always have 2 souround (das wrong) yourself w/ POSITIVE PPL. 4 all u example-oriented people, that means that if you aint tryin 2 get caught up in stealin, then maybe u need 2 quit hangin around the ppl who always talkin about/stealin, even if u have known them for a minute. If you don't wanna drink, then dont go 2 places where there is alcohol & n those type of situations. If you want your grades 2 come up, then hang around people who know how 2 study & do well n school, so that their good habits can rub off on u. U get the pt? In any situation, you can find a POSITIVE, no matter how NEGATIVE the situation may seem, but it's up 2 ______(fill in the blank) to find out; & please trust, if you search hard enough & b honest with yourself (see #2), u can find somethin that will help you to grow & mature into a better person, and not become col, hateful, or spiteful. If you wanna do great things, then hang w/ people who r great and see how their habits rub off on you & change your mindset.4.) the 4th tip 4 increasing your SWAG, is 2 NEVER 4GET WHERE YOU CAME FROM & THE THINGS YOU'VE BEEN THRU, because not only will it keep you humble and focused (see #1) but it will also make it that much better when u accomplish goals and tasks that u set 4 yourself. No matter how negative a situation u've been thru, without it, U WOULDNT B THE FLY PERSON U R 2DAY. u ain't dead, so if u find something positive out of it (see #3) then you have become stronger because of it." -cameron williams (valdosta state university; student; 1 of my best friends)

Amazing Grace!

TODAY: i will start off by saying hello world! right now, this very moment, this day in my life is one of the most blessed days in my life. let me tell you why. i wake up stressed because today is the deadline to send in my ACT packet so i can take my test (Feb 7). i wasn't sure about what was needed (as far as a certain stamp they enquired).. i stayed up all night thinking their offices would be open at 6.. comes to find out they open at 8. finally, i get an answer and the person i speak to helps me figure my worries. i just wanted to send in my packet so i can take my test, pass, and go to school. that's it that's all. anyhow, so mission 1 is completed! yay me!.. next thing that started to stress me out was whether or not i was an instate student or not so that i could retrieve certain instate grants. it took me from 10:20am something to 12:59pm to finally hear someone tell me (my sister) i am an instate student and i do very well qualify for the grants that this state offers. wow! my prayers were answered. mission 2 is completed. i mean i didn't have that much doubt that i wasn't but i just wanted to double check. you know, now that i think about it.. double checking the instate student thing kind of felt like going to the clinic for the first time ever to make sure you're body doesn't have any diseases .. (lol..) i was that nervous .. because i didn't know if what i was told a long time ago was correct or not. well, I'm happy to know it is. I'm one step closer to becoming the successful, independent, strong-minded personI'm growing to become! i see everything is paying off. today i was told "what the devil meant for evil, God meant for good!" .. and i haven't been a very religious person but today sure did blow my mind. i only expected the worse, and i got the best. I'm really happy!.. well, until next time ..
QQ: have you ever doubted your "luck" or faith? have you ever wondered was this life you lived meant to be for good or prevail for bad.. have you ever just sat back and try to think things out, then put all your effort into something you really wanted until there was no more effort to give.. yet you keep on pushing, if not, please try it .. i promise you in the end the reward is stupendous. have you ever just tried without giving up?
LESSON: but they that wait upon the the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (ISAIAH 40:31) in other words.. if there is something out there that you strongly desire, go for it .. and go for it at full throttle! the saying is NEVER GIVE! and believe me, NEVER GIVING sure does pay off. if you change and give up on your bad ways and forgive yourself for the things you done in the past, there will be a surprisingly greater reward than any reward you've received on paper simply waiting for you. try it! i'm telling you, good things come to those that wait!

Jan 5, 2009

When Time Passes..

TONIGHT: At my favorite place (the computer) and i was talking to a friend that i haven't seen in about 6 years.. (boy does that make me feel old) anyhow.. as we were engaging in our daily conversation, i began to think to myself.. how funny it is to see how people change.. i mean one minute you can swear up and down how you know someone like the back of your hand and then the next .. you find yourself feeling a bit .. um, how do you say?.. "out of place" while in their presence .. idk .. and what's strange is the one you feel so "out of place" with is the one you've been around the longest and "know" the best.. yet, you watch yourself talk to the one you have not been around as much (as the other) everyday all day .. from sun up to sun down .. it's amazing how some people can be fake and when they "need" you they call out for you .. and ONLY when they "need" you.. and silly enough you fall for it because that's your "friend" the one you "know like the back of your hand" .. people, don't fall for it.. if it means you seriously have to lose a "friend" its fine because in the end you've gained another. hopefully what i said makes some type of sense to those of you reading .. just another random thought tonight .. until next time..

LESSON: I've lost a friend to gain a better one, however, that's what happens when time passes.. so just let go of those who were once a major part of your past, there's a reason they aren't a factor in your present.. here's a hint; they aren't worth shit and besides.. they are probably a slore* anyways..

**slore- (v.) of whore & slut descendant.


Throw Back.. Lowkey Croppin!

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this is a very old picture of me, i was about 15/16 on here.. and lowkey was croppin..

haha.. hate on it .. hhm, the good days .. and now I'm all grown up with short hair and ready to cut it even more .. haha .. idk thinking of something a liddle like this ..

and as much as i don't care for her to much, have to admit.. her hair is always on point.. i mean this isn't anything to say "omg, that's bomb" to, however, i like it .. very simple and cute .. well until next time ..


WOW, This is Serious Business

TODAY: so, basically I'm visiting this website (actstudent.org) and I'm taking the practice test, as i am reviewing some of the lessons.. i find myself stumbling on a few sections in the math area. now, i am REALLY good at math.. i can basically teach myself everything that there is to know about math (well, for the most part) .. i was stunned to see that i (of all people) would need a liddle brushing up (you know, like tutoring).. which isn't bad because there are always new things added every year in math .. well math is like one of the main parts in taking the act/sat test.. and its vidal that i pass it (with flying colors) so right now I'm focusing on "revitalising" my math skills. (random: this lady just returned my call from a message i had left enquiring about math help, she was very negative (nasty) when telling me that her school does not provide what i am looking for.. hm, she didn't have to be so negative.. I'm glad its 09, because i would've cussed her out in 08! back to "today") anyhow, i guess that was my post for now .. until later ..

LESSON: if ever you need help with something that is of any importance, do not be afraid to ask for assistance.. it can and will help you in the long run.. think about your future.


Jan 4, 2009

Up & Thinking..

TONIGHT: so, right now I'm up sitting at the computer at my sisters house.. and I'm thinking about a lot of stuff.. this college thing isn't a joke, and best believe I'm taking it seriously. i figured, i haven't listened all that much to my family (especially my mom) so now would be the time. she says i should go to school to become a nurse, which wouldn't be bad. there will always be a demand for more nurses and they make really good money and I'm thinking you can get a job anywhere being a nurse. =] well, anyhow.. the more and more i think about nursing the more and more i want to do it .. you see at first my mind was set on forensics.. however they work with the police.. and I'm not at all big on helping the police, even though that is a WELL paying career! i like learning about the body, its very interesting to me.. but not that interesting to work with "pigs" lol. well, my mind is made up and becoming a nurse is something i have really considered and would seriously enjoy doing.

QUICK QUESTION (qq): have you ever been stuck (emotionally) between more than one person? have you ever been stuck on one person from your past who you want to be with oh so bad because he/she was your first love and for you the "connection" is still there? have you ever tried to void the feelings you have for one person just to move on, yet your mission is incomplete? have you ever questioned your luck with love? .. have you ever wanted to continue a relationship that was discontinued for a certain reason with a person who told you that you were their first love? and lastly.. have you ever figured you just weren't meant to be with anyone "seriously" enough to call it a "relationship" and be "open" about it? have you ever wondered what it is like to be in love and be in love in a relationship..?
LESSON: all i can say is, there's always hope and if it's something you want that bad then go for it no matter if its love or something that can possibly better your future. work hard at everything you do and strive for the best because anything below is a waste of your life.

good night readers.
I'll be back later with more "seriously" interesting thoughts..


New Year, New Me, New Everything

idk, maybe it's just me.. but every year i like to reinvent myself. let me start by saying happy new year to you and all.. i have a few new year resolutions.. i won't list them because they might not fall through .. anyhow, back to what i was saying. so i like to reinvent myself from top to bottom with me and everything i do. my blog is changing .. it will no longer be "sloppy" and "random" .. I'm only "blogging" on the ideas and thoughts i have in my mind.

TODAY: i woke up at my sisters house. this may not seem like a big deal to those of you reading, however, we weren't getting along for a short period of time.. OK, since my graduation (June 17th, 2008), so it's kind of a big deal to me (& a few family members). you see, I'm not the type to hold a grudge but i am the type that once i don't like you, my mind is made up.. there is no returning. seeing in how i started to not "be kewl" with my sister in 08 i refused to carry that on into 2009. (& plus its family) any ways .. I've made a lot of changes within myself.. the way i think and analyze situations.. the way i speak to people.. and lastly my attitude! I'm glad I've made these changes, i came a long way. and if you knew me before now, you know just exactly what i am talking about.. i had the worst attitude, head of my class in being rebellious, and my mouth.. wow.. i had a mouth on me! i mean, don't get it twisted .. I'm still a smart mouthed person, just when needed.. not to display any type of rebelliousness or bratty like attitude. I've cut my hair and I'm liking the new look.. so are a lot of other people .. lol .. I'm changing the way i dress, not to say the way I've been dressing is bad, it's just apart of me that i like to change every year .. I'm focusing on getting into college & figuring out what i want to major in by the summer.. I'll end it at that note, that's a whole nother topic for my next blog.. :)
LESSON: change is good, never be afraid to make minor or major changes.. once a change is made about yourself or simply, the way you conduct yourself, you will then feel how good it is to have made that change. it's the liddle things that count.

.. be sure to visit my myspace and add me as a friend (myspace.com/libra2308)
.. there you will be able to check out my new "look".