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(HiiM) (5:27:41 PM): Sick
Auto Response from jayfendii (5:27:41 PM): "..sick from all these lies and all these games.."currently: eating; washing; cleaningtext/call it.
jayfendii (5:28:33 PM): huh?
Auto Response from (HiiM) (5:29:01 PM): W/E !!!!!
(HiiM) (5:29:06 PM): Stop fucking talking about me Like u said were Friends
jayfendii (5:29:44 PM): I'm not talking about you.. and you told me we were friends so i was just going along with what you told me.

we're fighting the fact that we really can't go a day without saying at least one word or sentence to each other. the things he says can sometime make me want to slap the sh* out of him but i make a list in my head of all the good and all the bad. and on my list the good exceeds the bad and at the end of the day all the good in him makes me smile. we had an argument yesterday, I'd say it was a big deal.. though the way it began wasn't. the argument really opened my eyes and idk maybe that's why i couldn't see much when they were "closed" anyways .. he said we were just friends (which was fine with me taking it slow is good) but then yesterdays argument came and he's pissed because i reminded him the words that fell from his lips. insane I'd say but I'm to much in "like" with him to just let it go. at times he can be simple minded but the simplicity is what i like about his character i guess.. he def needs help figuring things out and i def need help explaining the things to him that are often on my mind. this is going to be hard for me seeing that he leaves at the end of this month and will not be back home for another two months due to their touring schedule.. the limited time is stressful, however, when it's something worth fighting for .. believe me, you should fight for it..

01.26.09

"but just cuz im cryin yall, don’t mean that im the victim, it just means I was scared to let him go cuz some other chick might get him. & that was my fault because it was my decision. I should have never put my heart in my minds position. but I couldn’t shake him, he was like a bad habit. & all this for a nigga that was just average. doin average nigga shit.. like talkin out the side of his neck & thinkin with his dick. but I must admit he was the one I wanted to commit. so either I wasn’t livin up to my potential or I was just an average chick. but I choose to believe I was a woman caught up in a feelin both physical and emotional, who was way too willing to give her all to a man. & though it may sound stupid, id do it all again. except this time for a man that likes me back, & not a man I call my friend…"

*this was on my friends away.. idk who wrote it, but i like it..

GUESS I'VE BEEN LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER BE.. THAT LOVE THAT GROWS AND BUILDS THAT BEAUTIFUL TREE.. SOMETHING OH SO WORTHY.. BUT I GUESS IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.. DO YOU BLAME ME FOR MY UNLOVING ABILITY?? MY TRUE CHARACTER HIDES BEHIND IT'S SHADOW.. SCARED ITS TO STRONG FOR HIM TO HANDLE.. I SLEPT IN HIS, WOKE UP IN HIS.. BUT THIS MEANT NOTHING.. NOTHING MORE OR LESS THAN WHAT IT WAS OR WHAT IT IS..PROMISED ME SOMETHING WITHOUT THE RING, TOLD HIM PROMISES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN.. SO DON'T PROMISE ME ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S SOMETHING YOU MEAN.

*BROKEN_PROMISES* by: me