THE UNKNOWN..

Lately, things just aren't going the way they should. As a matter of fact nothings ever going right. This is a terrible feeling, & I never once thought I's ever come to this emotion that I've been trying to avoid. Honestly, where I'm at in my stage of life .. wherever this place is .. it's not where I'm suppose to be.. I seriously think I don't belong or I'm meant to be where I am. I don't know. I'm tired of looking up at the stars & I'm tired of having these emotional break downs that just randomly occur. At this very moment I am sitting in a bathroom against the wall drowning my face with tears. This break down came out of know where & I feel like running & never stopping .. just going until the end has reached my feet. I wish there was a park to walk to.. or a tree to climb where I can be alone. There's neither in this situation.. To be honest after the tears come and go (when they're finally gone) I feel a slight change of emotion but this emotion has no title. It's not happy, sad, depressed, or anything .. It's just a blank state of being.. This is where I am left to just sit and wonder about nothing.. Music calms me.. Listen to one song at the moment .. called "After Tonight" by Justin Nozuka.. the guitar is pretty relaxing.. The tears are ending & this is when I come to that "Blank State of Being".. At the moment I am thinking about being home, that's all I want at the moment.. is to be home and away from this city and the people in it .. far far far away .. I want this load off of my back .. !! I no long want to cry I just want to be free to fly .. I want to be home .. with my mom and my friends .. I want to be set free .. I feel like I'm being locked down and for what? I have no clue .. I want to rewind and ask my dad what was going on .. why he left and what made him come back to me only to leave me so lost and confused with no sence of direction in this world.. no guidance .. IM LOST .. SOMEONE SET ME FREE.. PLEASE. ~jay.