SIDEKICK 09 aka: sidekick blade

thoughts?...



** i personally think it's bomb! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than ANY of the other ones.. FURSHUR!

L0WKEY

Oo..

i just got in the house at 10:15 am & figured to jump on here and tell you a liddle about my night.
but i figured, i'd rather not make anyone jealous.. ;] aha! jp.. no but seriously, you knw how yur night can be just that bomb to the point where usually yu'd tell a homegirl.. instead this time yu want to keep it to yurself bc it was just that bomb of a night. i mean no matter what it is.. no matter what yu did that night.. yu just want to keep it all to yurself and replay it over and over in yur mind.. well; yu knw what i say.. until next time

~peace&love~

ILL;KINDA

I LOVE HER BLOG & APPARENTLY SHE'S FOUND OF MINE CHECK HER OUT: ILL;KINDA
THANKS FOR KEEPING UP WITH MY BLOG
ITS IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.
SORRY FOR THE COMMENT ISSUE.
I HAD NO CLUE IT WOLDN'T ALLOW YOU OR ANYONE ELSE TO LEAVE THEM
IT SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK NOW. SO FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AND IF IT DOESN'T THEN I DO APOLOGIZE.

AND IN RE: I MEAN TO EACH IS OWN WHEN IT COMES TO THE PICS, HOWEVER, I REALLY THINK ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS TO THE POINT WHERE JAIL SHOULD EVER BE INVOLVED. BUT A FORM OF PUNISHMENT SHOULD FOR THOSE UNDER AGE.

02.01.09

SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I LAST POSTED.. BEEN JUST FOCUSED I GUESS.. IDK

ANYWAYS.. I HAVE A QUESTION .. MAYBE YOU CAN ANSWER IT..

I HAVE THIS THING WHERE IM KEWL WITH THE EX BOO'Z RIGHT; NOW I LEARNED TO JUST NOT BE AND LET THEM BE A THING IN THE PAST .. CONTINUING ON,...

EX BOO1 AND EX BOO2 KNOW EACHOTHER (NO, THEY AREN'T FRIENDS)

SINCE BEING BACK HOME I JUST STARTED KICKIN IT WITH EX BOO1 WHICH IS KEWL BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS THERES A NEW BOO IN THE PICTURE AND WE AREN'T ANYTHING MORE OR LESS THAN FRIENDS; AT THE SAME TIME HE TOLD ME "I'LL GIVE DUDE A CHANCE BUT WHEN HE F* UP & HE WILL F* UP, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING TO PICK UP THE PIECES." THATS KEWL AND ALL BUT IDK.. I LEARNED MY LESSON ON "ATTEMPTING" TO GET BACK WITH THE EX BOO WHILE IN LA.. SO ANYHOW EX BOO1 UNDERSTANDS AND WE'VE BEEN KICKIN IT FOR LIKE THE PAST HM 3-4 DAYS (KEEP THAT IN MIND)

NOW EX BOO2 AND I ENDED ON A REALLLLLLY BAD NOTE SO I LET HIM DO HIM AND GLADLY WENT ON WITH MY LIFE (AS NORMAL FOR SOME) WELL JUST A FEW DAYS AGO HE HAD CAME ACROSS MY PAGE AND HIT ME UP LIKE WHATS UP BOO WOO WOO WOO .. NOW OF COURSE BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW BOO I WAS LIKE HOLD UP IM NOT YOUR BOO #1 AND TWO HI HOW ARE YOU SO ANYWAYS WE MADE PLANS TO KICK IT AT HIS HOUSE FOR THE SUPER BOWL.. ME HIM AND A FEW OF THE HOMIES FROM SKEWL.. SO AFTER HALF TIME WE WENT FOR A WALK I GUESS TO JUST TALK ABOUT WHATEVER BEEN GOIN ON IN OUR LIVES SINCE I BEEN IN LA AND HE BEEN HERE.. ANY WHO.. WE WALKED AND HE WAS LOWKEY TRYIN TO FORCE FEELINS THAT WERENT THERE BY SAYIN THINGS LIKE I LOVE YU AND TELL ME YU LOVE ME (WELL I DNT) AND LIKE I GUESS HE WUDNT ACCEPT THAT SO HE LIKE TRIED TO KISS ME AND I GOT OUT THE WAY.. I WASNT FOR IT .. NEVER CHEATED NEVER WILL (THAT SHIT HURTS) WE STARTED PLAY FIGHTIN AND I PUSHED HIM AWAY KUZ HE WAS GETTIN TO CLOSE AND AS I DID THAT I CALLED HIM EX BOO1 NAME.. BUT ONLY BECAUSE EX BOO1 AND EX BOO2 WERE FORCING FEELINGS THAT JUST ARENT THERE ANYMORE.. AND IT HAD ME THINKIN LIKE THIS NIGGA IS AKTIN LIKE EX BOO1..

NOW HERES MY QUESTION: I KNOW IM IN THE WRONG FOR CALLIN A PERSON SOMEONE ELSES NAME, I'D BE MAD TOO, HOWEVER.. HE SHOULDVE NEVER BEEN TRYIN TO FORCE FEELINGS THAT ARENT THERE ANYMORE AND WILL NEVER BE.. IS THIS A SITUATION WHERE I JUST LET GO COMPLETELY OF HIM, LIKE HIM OUT OF MY LIFE IN ALL, AND KEEP HIM IN THE PAST AS HE'S BEEN THESE LAST 3 YRS OF ME BEING LA? I MEAN BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN BEING FRIENDS WITH THE EX BOO'S NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY MIGHT COME IN HANDY.. WHEN YU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO OR JUST KICK IT WITH..

~PEACE&LOVE~

iJERK!

iJERK!

THIS GOES .. HAHA .. THE NEW JERK! YEAH I MISS LA!

untitled

(HiiM) (5:27:41 PM): Sick
Auto Response from jayfendii (5:27:41 PM): "..sick from all these lies and all these games.."currently: eating; washing; cleaningtext/call it.
jayfendii (5:28:33 PM): huh?
Auto Response from (HiiM) (5:29:01 PM): W/E !!!!!
(HiiM) (5:29:06 PM): Stop fucking talking about me Like u said were Friends
jayfendii (5:29:44 PM): I'm not talking about you.. and you told me we were friends so i was just going along with what you told me.

we're fighting the fact that we really can't go a day without saying at least one word or sentence to each other. the things he says can sometime make me want to slap the sh* out of him but i make a list in my head of all the good and all the bad. and on my list the good exceeds the bad and at the end of the day all the good in him makes me smile. we had an argument yesterday, I'd say it was a big deal.. though the way it began wasn't. the argument really opened my eyes and idk maybe that's why i couldn't see much when they were "closed" anyways .. he said we were just friends (which was fine with me taking it slow is good) but then yesterdays argument came and he's pissed because i reminded him the words that fell from his lips. insane I'd say but I'm to much in "like" with him to just let it go. at times he can be simple minded but the simplicity is what i like about his character i guess.. he def needs help figuring things out and i def need help explaining the things to him that are often on my mind. this is going to be hard for me seeing that he leaves at the end of this month and will not be back home for another two months due to their touring schedule.. the limited time is stressful, however, when it's something worth fighting for .. believe me, you should fight for it..

01.26.09

"but just cuz im cryin yall, don’t mean that im the victim, it just means I was scared to let him go cuz some other chick might get him. & that was my fault because it was my decision. I should have never put my heart in my minds position. but I couldn’t shake him, he was like a bad habit. & all this for a nigga that was just average. doin average nigga shit.. like talkin out the side of his neck & thinkin with his dick. but I must admit he was the one I wanted to commit. so either I wasn’t livin up to my potential or I was just an average chick. but I choose to believe I was a woman caught up in a feelin both physical and emotional, who was way too willing to give her all to a man. & though it may sound stupid, id do it all again. except this time for a man that likes me back, & not a man I call my friend…"

*this was on my friends away.. idk who wrote it, but i like it..

GUESS I'VE BEEN LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER BE.. THAT LOVE THAT GROWS AND BUILDS THAT BEAUTIFUL TREE.. SOMETHING OH SO WORTHY.. BUT I GUESS IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.. DO YOU BLAME ME FOR MY UNLOVING ABILITY?? MY TRUE CHARACTER HIDES BEHIND IT'S SHADOW.. SCARED ITS TO STRONG FOR HIM TO HANDLE.. I SLEPT IN HIS, WOKE UP IN HIS.. BUT THIS MEANT NOTHING.. NOTHING MORE OR LESS THAN WHAT IT WAS OR WHAT IT IS..PROMISED ME SOMETHING WITHOUT THE RING, TOLD HIM PROMISES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN.. SO DON'T PROMISE ME ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S SOMETHING YOU MEAN.

*BROKEN_PROMISES* by: me

01.20.09

So today is the first time I've ever heard about the term "INAUGURATION" (sorry if that's ignorant of me).. and today is also the first day I've ever seen the President sworn in. I'm elated that today I could witness such a historical moment in all of our lives. I never once would have imagined it. The difference with the dreams back then kids had and the dreams of the kids today is.. back then you'd never once hear a (child of "color") say' "One day I will be the President," and now, this day, or rather since the campaign for the 09 election began.. the kids of today can dream big! You will hear a child say' "One day I will be the President!"

Just to sidetrack a little.. Today was lowkey stressful.. I had to register for spring semester, get my financial aid form completed, and take the test that the school I'm going to requires. Next will be orientation (Feb 27th) then registering for my classes. I'm happy that I've managed to do this on my own for the most part .. I'm learning my sense of independence. until next time ..


~PEACE&LOVE~
& HAPPY BARACK OBAMA DAY!

01.19.09

guess it would be wrong to not post something on a day like this ..

i can't believe today is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. birthday (one of the best days in the year)
and its a day to say tomorrow it's official .. my President is BLACK! this is a time that i never even thought would happen .. i mean it would've been a big deal if the president turned out to be a white lady .. but not so much as the president being black .. biracial to be exact! .. someone i could actually relate to will be running the place where i live.. wow! that's truely amazing ..

happy MLK day
and remember this day forever in time!

**we're only one step away from another day in history**

now i have something to get off my chest .. 1st i started reading this book call Flyy Girl it's really good so far and i cannot put it down .. anyhow .. it's only 11 more days until my Mr. Perfect leaves to go on tour .. and when will he return .. idk .. i try not to be to nozy .. good thing they made ichat .. because idk if i could 2 months (or however long he'll be gone) without seeing him.. i know one thing, i'll def miss my baby! until next time ..


~PEACE&LOVE~