THE SWEETEST THING I'VE EVER KNOWN

new start

2009-10-28T08:10:00.001-07:00

so heres the scoop on my life so far..

im moving to miami i cant wait

me and one of best friends have been talking about this move for a minute now

& we're finally going i can't wait. a new start a fresh start this should be fun and interesting

until next time...

thats my update :)

let these thoughts bleed.

2009-10-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

i've been writing for a minute now & it never seems like i could ever run out of the things to write about. i've been feeling for a minute now & it never seems like i could ever run out feelings & emotions to hurt from. i've been thinking & it never seems like i could ever run out of thoughts. i've been pumping this blood through my veins for a minute now & it never seems like i could ever run out of this blood that runs through my veins no matter how many times i've bled. i've been making mistakes for a minute now & it never seems like there won't ever be another one made. so this time, let's pretend the world is my mother and i have fallen. please, please just let me bleed my words, feelings, thoughts, & mistakes so i can heel on my own & on my own time.

where do i start? the beginning or the end? it all never makes sense no matter what point you start from. i just know i want it out and off of my chest. there are so many things that go on in my world, my life, that no one knows about. you know they say the best secrets are kept in books. you put a book down & the only way to know what's going on in the world of those pages are by picking it up and reading it. yet, no one ever has the "time" or "patience" to do so. this is my book. these are my secrets.

i've been in love & i think im almost sure its hurting to admit this. at the moment i have tears washing the skin on my face. for something to hurt it sure is cleansing. it feels good and hurts at the same time. idk what to think honestly, im soo lost right now. anyhow i would consider myself a strong minded person when it comes to falling for a person and opening up and letting them in my world. a lot of people can claim they know me but it's only one who can really say he knows me & can tell me anything and i can & will believe it. for some reason im continuously thinking of this person and seeing from a distance what goes on in his world from a distance.. what to do about this but try and forget and let go.. but how when there's no one who i feel can make me feel the happiness he gives to me. it's a gift almost when im around him.. it's like the morning the snow first falls and a childs first snow angel. it's special. it's rare. it's once in a life time for me. love isn't promised to no one but when it comes hold on to it for dear life. im such a rock its crazy i can't break down for or over no one i can't feel for no one but myself but when the tears wash his face like they do mine it's almost as if they do for me too. idk if that makes any sense but thats the best way i can explain it. im doing my best to let go and move on but its hard when you've never had or is rare to have. does anyone else understand..

just let me fall
just let me bleed
just let me learn.

love life.
love you.
me.

.. its been ..

2009-09-29T22:44:00.000-07:00

so it's been a good minute.. actually, it's been about a week and a half since i've been at school.
WAIT! don't jump on my neck just yet. i was missing school to get money to pay my bills..
power was off.. but we're back on top :) new couch microwave George Foreman grill trash can etc...

anyhow, so today i had an interview with abercombie & fitch!
that was exciting! lol. hopefully i get the post i applied for.
later on today i will go back and apply for another position just to be on the safe side.

so i have anywhere from a week to two weeks before finding out if i am hired for the position.

well its been just about 60+ plus days and i haven't heard from the guy that left my house (from this day) 60+ days ago to find himself in an orange, gray, blue, or white uniform.. ugghh im going to be as patient as i can... i mean they do say those who wait get more than what they expected.
LMFAO ok they don't say that exactly but i did so yeah lol ..

anyhow .. im off to bed.. turning it in kind of early tonight (2:07am) im going to school tomorrow!

goodnight ppl

09.23.09

2009-09-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

so todays my bday..
im officially 20..
no more of being in the teen years..
and still i have yet to really figure out just what it is i want to do.
my choices are: strokers (strip klub in atl) house night klub (in atl)
or join some ppl as they surprise me with whatever they have in store..

oh and remember i expected to be "wifed" up by now..
however, i am not.. still :( sad right? i know..

anyhow.. the day was ruff..
sadly, i had to "go there" with someone from my school whom i was helping out
on top of that.. as i said earlier, it's my bday and i have NOTHING to do..
the guy im oh so in like with is in jail (sucky) and he cant have any visitation..
nor can he make calls out.. :( what a birthday right...

so im on the Internet, as usual, and i see someone has posted on their status (fb)
that lil boosie is locked up (or turning himself in) for charges of a gun and possession of marijuana
and with good behavior he can get out with only serving a year though he was sentenced 2.

oh other news... my KHLOE (KHLO$) IS GETING MARRIED!!!
the wedding will be held at a closed location (I KNOW WHERE). . .

anyhow.. moving on to a new story...
how was everyone else day.. ?

today the weather was perfect
yesterday it was hurricane Katrina
and today it was perfect wth?!!!
ga weather is wakk..

oh went to this restaurant yesterday and filled out an application
hopefully they hire me.. the guy said he would give me a call back but i know
with restaurants you have to keep calling to let them know you want the job
so thats what i will be doing and thats what i did today.. wellll i called only twice
but that was between the slow hours so the guy told me that he would give me a call tomorrow
and if he didnt for me to call him.. bests believe i will.. :)

uhhgg feel like im talking to much..
this ends this post.. :)

goodnight!

ps..

HAPPY BDAY ME !!! IM 20!

MY CLOSURE

2009-09-20T00:12:00.000-07:00

im ending my rainy night with this post.

i seem to be restless at the moment.
so when i close the l.top screen, i'll just lay here until my dreams are 3d.
i cant seem to get this guy off of my mind its like my every thought is him.
me wondering what hes wondering what im wondering and so on..

well,
listening to keyshia cole - you complete me.
goodnight world.

& THIS IS HOW IM FEELING.

2009-09-19T22:08:00.000-07:00

at the moment i am listening to anthony hamilton.
its raining. there are 3 more days until my 20th bday.
by now i expected to be "wifed" up with a guy who has my undivided attention.
& im not. there air is going on and off (set to auto) in my apartment.
listening to that the rain and this music is keeping me calm.
for a second i was going insane about this one guy who left my house 50 days ago.
& yes that makes me sound a little crazy, however i only know because now he is
incarcerated 45 minutes away from me.
sitting here wondering why he hasn't called or text since the day he left,
comes to find out he was arrested moments after leaving my house.
he's been looking to get in some kind of contact with me.
he did.
the drug of joy ran through my blood stream.
"sometimes in life you run across a love unknown without a reason it seems like you belong" - anthony hamilton.

the rain has stopped.
the air is off.
the music is still playing.
and im sitting in bed alone.
i just want him back, i have a strong feeling he is my other half.

so, i have 5 more months left until i am done with school.
im anxiously waiting for the day to come and a teacher tells me how many hours i have left.
hours that will be completed in a day or two. uggh.
the great feeling of accomplishing yet another task that someone strongly doubted me on.

you want to know a funny thing?
so i have this ex that i once dated in highschool..
not that many years ago lol.
i express to him what i was thinking were my true and final feelings
and you know what he does?
tells me hes not worth my tears.
probably because his heart was somewhere else.
not because he ever done me wrong or was pathetic.
because none of those describe him.
kind of hurts to know that the person you have these types of feelings for
dont have them in return. idk what to think, say, or how to feel about that.
im so lost and confused., but i cant help nor control another persons emotions.
its only right that i learn to let him go.
& i have because im waiting patiently on who i believe is my other half.
& while doing so, i cant let my past get in the way of my possible future.

just my feelings im updating you all on.
hope you enjoyed me sharing my story with you all.

(post updated pics in a few.)

JUST AN UPDATE

2009-07-28T16:31:00.000-07:00

HEYYY EVERYONE, THIS IS JUST AN UPDATE ..

I KNOW IVE BEEN GONE FOR QUITE SOMETIME ..
DIDNT MEAN TO KEEP YOU ALL WAITING ..

ANYWHO, LETS SEE WHATS NEW ..
PAST MY FRESHMAN FINAL EXIT EXAM I AM NOT A SENIOR IN COSMETOLOGY
WHICH MEANS IM CLOSER TO GRADUATING YAYY ME!

HM, ... NEW HAIR STYLE LIKE EVERYWEEK, WELL THATS NOTHING NEW
BASICALLY NOTHING IS NEW LOL.. SCHOOL HOME OUT SCHOOL AND SO ON ..

OHHHHH WAIT,
YEA I MET THIS KID NAMED HOLLYWOOD..
HM, BASICALLY BOMB.

WELL, THERE WILL OF COURSE BE MORE POST FOR NOW ON ...

LETS DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME,
FENDIIBBY xo.

PS:
---
HEY SINCE IVE BEEN GONE SO LONG HOW ABOUT YALL TELL ME WHAT IVE BEEN MISSING
WHATS THE LATEST ON YOU? :)

have yu ever

2009-06-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I last posted.. Been going through some things & the break was much needed.

Have yu ever been addicted to something with no taste no sound no smell just a soft strong structured feeling just features that would blow you away? Have yu ever been in a room with a person & every time yu make eye contact yu giggle have yu ever felt that liddle tingley feeling inside when being around someone yu halfway knw but knw somehow yu have the most feelings for.. Have yu ever wondered what it is that cause a person to fall for another even when they half way knw each other.. Is that what "love at first site" means?..

Schools been good lately there are 3 or 2 more weeks until I'm out on the floor working with clients & giving my cards out to possibly new clients.. I kant wait! Everything is just falling into place & I knw this is happening bc I have 3 angels watching over me!

Short poem:
For a second I almost got to the point of no return.. Just kept kuttin & kuttin until the pain went away & when I awoke from a dream I often wished were true the pain disappeared.

Good night..
Ps: updated look koming soon!

R.I.P DOLLA aka BUCC

2009-05-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

IM MISSIN YU ALREADY & YU KNOW WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

WATCH OVER ME BUCC! luv lil sis

definition of fly.

2009-05-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

LEFT ME SPEECHLESS

2009-04-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

enjoy the new finds..

..until next time..

peace&love

ON THE STREETS IN LA

2009-04-17T08:41:00.001-07:00

A vintage dark yellow cardigan, with an American Apparel V-neck, dark Hudson jeans, an H&M scarf, Steve Madden gladiator sandals, and a Marc Jacobs wallet.

OHHH how i LOVEEE FASHION

PURELY FASHION

2009-04-17T08:38:00.001-07:00

BOMBFLY!

2009-04-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

NEW MUSIC PPL: DizZyaNa

2009-04-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

So basically, the homie has been workin extra hard & putting in some major time with his new mix tape! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIS MUSIC!!! I mean, the kid has skills.. and im not just saying this because hes the homie.. I'm saying this because this is oh sooo true! ANYHOW, download the music.. and let me know what you think. His word skills are sick.. :)

..until next time..

peace&love

and they say..

2009-04-10T05:33:00.001-07:00

& they say everything in the dark comes to light. Well, at 7am its still dark & I still feel everything from my past huanting me. I'm not ashamed of my past nor scared of it.. Just help me understand why at 7am I get the thoughts of "what if".. And I try not to question the past as the present nor the present as the future. Yet sometimes (rarely) will I have these unaswerable questions. So I just sit and wonder to myself and let the time go by.

Until next time..

Peace&love

Ps:
I will be posting some fresh music from a friend of mine.

it's been a minute.

2009-04-02T20:22:00.001-07:00

so im up and im thinking, what is it that has me all baffeled in the mind.. what am i seriously getting out this "situation" this .. this "thing" we call a "relationship" .. i mean .. one minute we're super kewl and the next its like we dont know eachother. is it me? am i not asking questions that has logical answers to them?.. i mean idk what to do anymore .. and for some odd reason ... some very ODD reason, i continue to stick it out and just see where this can go..

im doing so good, here in ATL.. i really am.. im staying focused.. im gettin what i want (for the most part) and im doing things other than sit around and worry about what fit to wear to the next function.. i mean thats never a bad thing but it is when thats the only thing yure doing with yur life.. idk, i guess i can say im proud of myself for once and i appreciate all that was installed in me from all the ppl who took the time to mold me as i was growing and even correct some mistakes as i am now .. i really appreciate it ..

theres just something about ATL that made me hate it so much and when i say hate i literally mean HATE .. GREATLY DISPISE!but now that im back.. more mature, more of an adult there was nothing really i could say bad about this place.. it was never the place.. moreso the people who remained here.. theyre such bottom feeders.. like .. idk .. the worst word possible to describe someone and thats them.. so immature, so young minded, so petty and childish .. the games got old by the minute. im happy i didnt stay here for the years i was in LA.. hm, speaking of which .. im missing it .. but not missing it to the point where im crying over it.. idk when i go back i know for fact a great blessing will be there waiting for me to open it .. :)

enjoy the pics.. new hair color!

xxo mwah

hcharlie's angel

while i was out..

2009-03-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

I baught a new phone, which means I have a new number due to people stalking me.. Seriously! I love it.. The blackberry 8300 I knw bb has been out and in but before I only had the bb pearl.. Which isn't ish compared to this one hehe..

I'm bloggin from my phone :)

Another thing I did while I was gone, well this is new. I colored my hair blackM pics will be up soon.

Nyt :)

CHARLIE'S ANGELS

2009-03-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

U CAN COME PARTY WIT ME ALL WEEKENED EVERY THURSDAY @ FREQUENCY{IN THE UNDERGROUND}, AND FRIDAY @ STUDIO 72{3965 LAWRENCEVILLE HWY}!!! CHARLIE BROWN & CHARLIE'S ANGELS!!!

!im officially a charlie's angel!

A FEW LIKES>> DO YU LIKE?

2009-03-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

just saw a few things as I was browsing the internet ..

tell me what yu think .. yes no maybe so .. or down right never?!

SEPHORA!

2009-03-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

So today I learned about Sephora! Now I've heard about it pleanty of times before, but never reeally took the time to go into the store and see what they have to offer. Well, today my class took a trip to the mall for an assignment. As we came to a closing on the assignment, a classmate an I walked around and checked some of the stores out. She turned me on to Sephora. At first, I'll be honest, I wasn't the slightest into makeup. I DONT NEED IT. BUT, I'm starting to like it. Well, just like the peal on polish they have now, she introduced me to the peal on eyeshadow... comes in a box of 4 sets for $25.. NOT BAD RIGHT?! I couldn't find a picture of it on their site however, it is found in their stores. I feel in love today!

this was really kewl.. it's this sleek and portable shaving system is all you need to get smooth, stubble-free legs comparable to a professional hair-removal treatment. Get ready to go bare!

another thing im falling in love with.. EYELASHES.. this are so sexy, they just change an outfit completely .. idk why never wore them before lol.. Deluxe Lash Kit - Black Quickly and easily apply these false lashes with one hand and no mess. The contoured tip of this handy tool provides the perfect placement of these super sexy lashes and also removes them with ease. The soft, antibacterial storage stand retains the natural lash curve.Set includes Lash Placement Set, one set of black lashes, and glue.To Apply:Using the soft applicator tip, gently grasp lashes at the lash line. Apply a thin line of lash adhesive to the lash band. Let dry a few seconds until tacky. Close eyelid. Gently press the soft-tipped applicator just above natural lashes.To Remove:Gently grasp the false lashes just above the lash band. Gently pull from the inside, working outward to remove the lash. Store lashes on storage stand.

I've always liked eyeshadow.. but never really wore it to much.. and now I'm just wanting to buy so much so i can wear it everyday almost .. i love being a girl .. Smokin' Eyes... What it is:A kit that delivers a sexy eye and brow makeover.What it does:Benefit Smokin' Eyes... has everything a gal needs to create sexy, smoky "after hours" eyes and perfectly groomed brows in no time. With the blendable shades and a step-by-step lesson, even makeup-phobes can smoke it out like pros. When the sun goes down, this smoldering eye kit comes out to play!This set includes:- 3 Eyeshadows- Smokin' Liner- Brow Zings in Light- EyeBright- Tweezies- Fluff Shadow Brush/ Hard Angle Brush

Here are some video clips.. ENJOY!

Dear ME

2009-03-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

dear me,

just felt as though i should write this for me to look back on someday.. im feeling a lot different now-a-days.. i see things in a different light, a more mature prospective.. im understanding the wants and needs.. the expected and least expected .. im understanding life and im seeing the changes im making as im growing up in this crazy world. well this is all i had to say..

just when yu least expect something, yur life changes in a major way.. & whether or not yu think yure mentally capable of dealing wit wudev the situation is, yu have to deal wit it & theres no running away from it. responsibility is a big part of our lives. i have no more room to complain, i take everything as a blessing & a lesson. Im a full time student; i go to school faithfully everyday up at 7 there by 8:45 & out at 4:30pm.. i work everyday.. never taking breaks.. & now, i have two liddle girls to take care of, & of course it's only right, theyre my God daughters. im going to put my all into raising them correctly & teaching them things i had to learn on my own. Life is a one time thing, don't take anything for granted. Thats my lesson of the day.

WHiLE i WAS G0NE: PiKS.

2009-03-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

As I was taking a liddle break from the world I made a big change with myself .. I like it.. Takes time getting use to .. but hey .. wudev .. It's me or nothing, flaws and all .. lol .. (for those of yu who don't like short hair)

DID ANYONE MISS ME?

THE RETURN!

2009-03-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

So it is .. 12:24 am.. I'm studying .. (i find that i retain the best information when it's really late).

I have been gone for quite some time & I think it would be quite the pleasure for me to fill you all in .. OMG IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCHHHH! lol.. however i enjoyed my break!

Thank you all for commenting the post! Hope you enjoyed everything lol ..

Hm, lets see.. March 2nd I started work! (Doc Green; salad bar & grill)..

March 5th, I started school! (Empire Beauty & Cosmetology School)..

I was considering getting this truck, however, my mother is getting it instead & I am getting a VW Passat =] yayyy me!

I'm learning so much in school it's ridiculous.. I never knew there was so many interesting things within the field of "cosmetology' ..

and before you all go and judge me.. understand this.. I am an Esthetician.. a specialist in the beautification of the skin and body. I do not ONLY style hair, I engage in facials, nails, eyebrows, the care of skin, etc.. Before you judge me & my decisions.. YES I will & can make a living off of hair.. believe me, it's a high market & it's in high demand. Am I making a living off of it ONLY? NO, my goal is to become a well rounded stylist..

PLZ PPL DO NOT JOCK MY STYLE lol .. jp Im clearly fine with you becoming motivated off of my ambitions =] ..

The program that I am in will last me 11 months.. and then once I've graduated I will go to State Board and preform certain procedures in front of them as they critique. I will also take a written test there in front of them.

Following along with receiving my Masters in Cosmetology, I will then go to a fashion school where I will obtain my Bach in fashion. =] get my drift?

A stylist is not only one thing. Fashion is not only clothes.

I want to be fashion stylist capable of styling in all ways, forms, & fashions. I want to be able to do facials, make-up, hair, dressing "styling" a person, doing their eye brows.. ect .. ect! I want to be WELL ROUNDED! The more you are able to do, the more you will accessed and get paid =]

I will post pictures later on.. maybe tomorrow or some time before Monday!

ps.

i've been working so hard.

i go to school full time 9am-4:30 pm

then work.. not every day but 9 times out of 10 every day

& i go until closing .. IM WORKING HARD! & IM FOCUSED!

until next time..

peace&love

BREAKING NEWS!

2009-03-01T12:12:00.001-08:00

So as you all may know, I was taking a break.. well.. I planned on it.. Until I couldn't help but notice the sounds that I heard outside my window when I woke up this morning. It didn't sound like rain.. because that's the sound that put me to sleep last night.. & it wasn't the sound of the wind blowing the leaves that were laying around either. This sound was a sound of its own, as any, yet this sound was soft.. loud.. idk it was just it's own thing.. I can't really compare it to anything or actually describe it. Anyhow, I'd like to introduce you to REAL snow in ATLANTA, GA.. in MARCH!!!! note this is the first time (in my life) that I've ever seen it snow this hard, and this heavy, & actually stick.. my sister has to get the snow off of her car.. I feel like I'm back at home (Chicago).. well, it's not snowing that hard but it's hard for Atlanta.

ps. im going back on my break.. i just thought i should post this before it stopped and i become mad at myself for not taking the pictures. =] ..until next time..

~peace&love~

OVERRLY DUMB BORED ON FB LASTNIGHT; lmao

2009-02-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

Jayron Afshar at 6:49am February 28
lmfao ahahahah "what would jesus do?" omg ahahan bitch u look bored makin all these videos ahahn fyi roxy lives out here now.. so dont try to make to go bacc.n ny is gonna be dumb poppn.. but my flight doesnt stop in atl =(bitch those numbers are notifications u dumb fuccwhat a waste of ur lifewaiitttt know what i jus remembered.. "yea im sorry my daddy was dark"lmfao ahahhaha

Jacinda Travis at 11:38am February 28
ahahahahahahahahahaha omg that was so funny! llmaoooooo yu suck .. why doesnt your flight stop here

Roxy Wales-Walden at 12:09pm February 28
you r a fuxking fool!!!! the end!!! lol ahahahahmm...get a life and 2nite go to club crucial!!! thats shit be poooopppiiin!!!! lolwell and it jerks♥ROXy♥

Jacinda Travis at 12:45pm February 28
lmaooo.. =] hehehe.. its soooo sad roxy it really is.. where did my life go. its like i turn 35 in two seconds.. lol

mann down; CODE RED!

2009-02-28T01:14:00.001-08:00

staying away from the blogging for a while.. when i return, whenever that may be i will be sure to update you all .. i'll def keep reading your blogs, may not leave comments.. just bc i feel the need to be silent for a while .. im half awake typing this.. and one things on my mind.. [him]..

util next time..

~peace&love~..

ps.. i'll leave yu with this..

word of the day:

TIME

n, : the system of those sequential relations that any event has to any other, as past, present, or future; indefinite and continuous duration regarded as that in which events succeed one another

WORD OF THE DAY..

2009-02-25T23:11:00.001-08:00

Ladies, ladies, ladies..

if there isn't one thing people (excuse me a guy*) can't stand is a nosy female.
im sure your mothers raised you better (& i speak to no one particularly)..
im just making a statement.. there is nothing more UNattractive than a loud, ghetto,
rude, "stank" attitude female. HELLOO. thats a turn OFF.. & you wonder why you cant keep a "man" well honey thats why.. whether youre a hoe or a respectful young lady.. if you are loud, ghetto, rude, "stank" attitude and whatnot.. you will quickly loose whomever it is you have.
its better to been seen, rather than heard [FIRST].. and with that said..

the word of the day:

obstreperous
adjective, : Noisy or unruly.

Demanding? Naa Just Requesting.

2009-02-25T21:55:00.000-08:00

This particular post was requested. Im speaking to you & i hope you fully understand me..

(lemme clear my throat)

you see when i open my eyes i want to smile

and when they close to reopen

i want to smile.

when i breath

i want that fresh breath of air to be givin to me

because you went deep to put it there..

what i want?

to make someone feel the same as me

to feel like that never ending question,

yeah that "why" question, to finally be answered.

and im sitting here listening to your music & whennn...

i thought i had writers-block.. the sound of your voice cleared it away.

what i want in a guy you inquire?

i want him to be my NyQuil,

my Dayquil.

could he possibly be my Tylenol..

relieve my pain, sooth my muscles,

clear my headaches away.. ?

would that be to much to ask.

what i want in the next guy..

well they say the next is the best.

could you make me regret not meeting you soona..

and i apologize if i confuse ya..

but...

i want you to fill that void..

put the piece where its suppose to be..

& make me feel like another woman..

make my make-believe become real life fantasies..

oh so now its about me & my needs..

well give me time to clear my throat so i can speak..

someone like you.. someone of your character seems fictional.. but you are oh so real

and thats what i want.. some one to be an asshole ya know; check me when i "oops i fukd up"

someone to give me that "ooo yeaa" biting my lip.. no really biting my tongue because i said i could handle it..

aha playing the big girl role.. someone to pull my hair,

get liddle aggressive .. get me a liddle scared..

but remember what i want is for a guy to be able to make believe again.. to take me to "we're only connecting as.. we're only connecting .. only connecting as. us. are you willing to learn..?"

there. for once i spoke up.. & this is what i want..

ENJOY!

until next time..

~peace&love~

LIFE LESSON

2009-02-24T19:31:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my sister today about this situation that occurred between my best friend, her sister, and myself. I'd love to tell the whole story, however, that would be extremely to long and it might confuse you all. Sooooo, long story short.. I def learned a lesson today..

3 values to live by:

*there are principals that we as people should learn, understand, and follow.

*there are people who will be in your life for a second, a minute, and an hour.

*there are 3 types of people you will come across.. your reason, your season, and your life time.

I've learned that no matter how long a friendship has been, there is always be an end to the fun. I have learned that no matter what the situation is at hand, you always need to be the bigger person. I have also learned that, you know who your true friends are when you come into a situation and it isn't handled correctly, a person cannot sit down and talk to you one on one like a young adult & if there is a person (or persons) that cannot complete the task at hand, then they just weren't meant to be in your life & the friendship isn't worth fighting for. I will never beg for a friendship (keep in mind) however, I WILL fight for one when I believe it's truly worth it. Just thought to add this as well, you will find strength each time you cry, & life is like a car you have your side mirrors to keep you from getting into "accidents", you have your seat belt to keep you safe, & lastly you have your rear view. With your rear view you are allowed to look back: but only for a second at a time, because if you dwell on the past (whats behind you) you will not be able to steer straight and keep focus on whats in front of you.

WORDs OF THE DAY:

PRINCIPLE

noun, : guiding sense of the requirements and obligations of right conduct: a person of principle

FRIENDSHIP

noun, : the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.

LOYALTY

noun, : the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations

RESPECT

noun, : esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

HONESTY
noun, : the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness

until next time..

~peace&love~

a bit of poetry pt2.. WTH;

2009-02-24T10:02:00.001-08:00

wth; these feelings i have are unexplainable

i feel as though my mind is moving so fast

when my heart has yet to play catch up

where does my heart sit;

the left of breast

or behind my vision

thought i could have it all

do i really have to choose

theres nothing on the line but my emotions

youre mental explosions are domestic

as of now we're living off of impulse

and idk if this makes sense to you

but at the end of the day it is what it is

and right now what is this?

wth; i cant sleep confused as a day

with clouds looking as if its going to rain

& the suns shining so bright

its hurting me, it wasn't suppose to be this way

where did we go wrong? my ipod plays

wth..

& i say i will play by the book

but wheres the book for me to see what to do

when the day changes so does the page

and i have yet to turn one,

in the front of my mind i have everything perfectly planned out

but as usual its the depths of my hearts where the real choices are to sleep

and maybe my intellectual thought process is above and beyond yours but

thats something i can't help.. and im still attracted to you because of our differences

and right now i have no direction, im letting my fingers do the writing im just watching

so bare with me if you have yet to understand where i am going with this. but wth..

ENJOY!

i made a post the other day saying i would follow some new rules.

but i've seem to forgotten, i live life on the edge. i don't play by the rules.

so for now on im just posting .. fashion, poetry, thought/emotions, yu knw the reg.

a bit of poetry pt 1.

2009-02-23T18:54:00.000-08:00

sometimes in life yu come across an unknown love

the kind that makes yu rush

makes yu wonder the 7 wonders

the simpliest thought of touch by a person

the bittering, arguing, & cursing

all the love, pain, heaven, & hell

you stick around wishing for the better

WELL...

sometimes in life yu come across an unknown love

& when yure really thinking,

yure thinking yure in love

get ready for this.

..LOVES NOT READY FOR YOU..

THOUGHT 1

2009-02-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

Now I know I'd be probably in the wrong if I did this, however, my attitude is tattooed.. which means it's permanent, so i guess we should address it huh! Usually, I'd already curse the person out.. BUT this time I won't .. I wouldn't be gaining anything .. so I will just let it go.. KARMA is a bigger BITCH than I.. so I clearly have nothing to worry about.. ENJOY!

dj (2:06:46 PM): ddont call the #404
dj (2:06:52 PM): anymore
ms FENDi BBy (2:06:55 PM): um. okay, why
dj (2:07:16 PM): Y because i just said so
dj (2:07:21 PM): That's why
ms FENDi BBy (2:07:44 PM): i guess. thats sus. but iight.

like if yu just got this random a* aim from someone.. and all yu want to know is why.. now keep in mind, it's a person you *use* to talk to.. and *barely* speak to anymore. this person does nothing for me in or out of my life.. so either way idc.. just want to know yur thoughts..

EYE CATCHERS

2009-02-23T08:35:00.001-08:00

SO you want to go out and just don't know what to wear. You see some things that catches your eye, however, you don't want to look like every other female prancing around in their stiletto. Well.. I don't mind helping you out.. Here are some eye catchers that stuck with me .. enjoy.

Ladies, you don't have to go out "trying" to out dress the other females by wearing the shortest, or the tightest, the most see-through, or reviling dress possible. Guys like when it's simple, elegant, and keeps a secret.. (the whole idea is to keep them guessing; yu dnt have to put it all out there) Well.. hope yu like what I thought were the eye catchers of the day.

WORD OF THE DAY..

2009-02-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

Before I post my word of the day.. i just thought to entertain you all with a free style video from a few of the homies.. ENJOY!

Word of the Day:

carberator
noun, : one who gives another sh*t for eating carbohydrates

until next time..

~peace&love~

Facebook Talk

2009-02-21T11:59:00.000-08:00

lol. i love when i get comments on my status that turns into convo's.. =]

Jacinda Status: Tell me, who I have to be to get some reciprocity. 2:45pm

Tyler Curry at 2:52pm February 21
cinda!

Jacinda Travis at 2:53pm February 21
hey girl hey! whats up doll

Tyler Curry at 2:55pm February 21
nm how u been?

Jacinda Travis at 2:55pm February 21
oh wait yu were telling me who i have to be. yeah that's a tid bit challenging at this moment. idk who she is anymore. how have yu been .. where the hell are yu.. i've been home and have not seen yu seen everybody else minus yu.

Jacinda Travis at 2:55pm February 21
ive been good though.=]

Tyler Curry at 3:02pm February 21
shitt i been chillen ready to get away from these childish ass brookwood bitches.

Jacinda Travis at 3:06pm February 21
now idk who yu might be talkin about but i def feel that. but that is high school for yu.. yu learn who yur true freinds are & who the fake ones might be. yu'll live though. what doesn't kill yu makes yus trongers.. mentally! what else is new..

Tyler Curry at 3:09pm February 21
umm..chillen really just makin moves everyweeked.we getting up next weekend k?

Jacinda Travis at 3:10pm February 21
i hear yu on that note. yea girl that's fine i will send yu my number in a message lol can't have everyone knowin the celly lol

Tyler Curry at 3:11pm February 21
ook.

So this kid request to be my friend, I accept, we conversed. As we were getting deeper into our conversation he said to me.. [let me side track] now I was speaking to one of my fellow bloggers last night before turning myself into bed, and he was telling me the same thing. Guess if I begin to hear something more than once (on a positive note) I should believe it.. anyhow.. this kid on facebook said to me.. & this is how our convo went..

2:35pmSage
oh ok
well damn Jacinda it seem to me like u got da whole package
2:36pm Jacinda
lol. what do you mean (thanks)
2:36pmSage
looks, funny, smart, goals.
2:37pm Jacinda
aw thanks. i try .. i try really hard. i don't want to have to depend on someone else and be a mess when im old in age i want to already be to the point where i can just live and until then im working hard for it
but yu too.
2:38pmSage
i appreciate dat. my pops always taught me to paper chase not skirt chase but i might change up now.
2:39pm Jacinda
lose money chasing females never lose females chasing money.. but i feel what yur sayin.. it's ok to take a break lol
2:40pmSage
lol

I appreciate it greatly, when people I don't know share their complimenting thoughts towards me.. idk maybe it's just me but it really makes my day, evening, & night. I'd like to believe it's healthy =].

LEARNiNG NEW WAYs..

2009-02-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

I'm getting into this new thing.. where I'm changing the way I post.. I mean I will continue to express my thoughts, however, I'm adding my fashion tips: do's & don'ts.. whats hot & whats not.. which includes hair, clothes, make-up, shoes, accessories, etc.

Call it a Schedule if You Must..

Mondays:

word of the day**,

thoughts (including poems)**,

things i did or want(ed) to do,

eye catchers**

Tuesdays:

word of the day**,

thoughts (including pictures)**,
things i did or want(ed) to do,

eye catchers**

Wednesdays:

word of the day**,

things i did or want(ed) to do,

eye catchers**

Thursdays:

word of the day**,

completely post whatever i may feel,

eye catchers**

Fridays:

word of the day**,

completely post whatever i may feel,

FAB FINDS**

eye catchers**

make-up tips**

Saturdays:

word of the day**,

word on twitter**,

word of facebook**

Sundays:

word of the day**,

No post. anything interesting will be posted on the following day (Monday)

I will be following this "schedule" as strictly as possible, so bare with me. =]

** indicates topics that will be continuously posted; in other words, these are topics that you are more than likely to find on my blog on those days.. no topic will be repeated!

with the above stated.. I'd like to introduce you all to the FIRST word of the day!

Word of the Day:
cleaverage
verb, : To affect a man's decision making process by wearing a low necked dress.

until next time..

~peace&love~

BY THE WAY.. SHOW MY HOMEGIRL SOME BLOG LOVE & BECOME A FOLLOWER!

HER NAME IS AMBER & SHE'S RATHER INTERESTING..
SHE IS A GREAT WRITER (IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF)

THANKS & ENJOY!

click the picture: it's a link

Perfect Stranger

2009-02-20T15:01:00.000-08:00

I was reading on this kids blog today. and I saw a posting that caught my eye.. it was titled: PERFECT STRANGER .. it was a great read. As usual. Im signed on myspace, facebook, twitter, flypeoples, and other sites that has me addicted.. he sends me a message saying thanks for the follow & I told him no problem, don't be a stranger.. as we got further along with our conversation we exchanged screen names.. continuing out conversation on aim we then found out how small of a world we live in.. I came to the realization: what a perfect stranger he is. Now, I guess you'd have to read his post on the PERFECT STRANGER to fully understand. I mean his bday is 3 days after mine (though he is 2 yrs older than me) he is located in the same city as me (which is a rather small one) & as I see it, we're both into fashion. He's adorable. I mean really cute. & I find talking to him rather interesting. I'm cute & adorable and ppl find me interesting. & we're both assholes (hehe: he can't see me being one because i have a cute liddle babyface)..(here's a secret: he wants to be like me when he grows up) hehe.. how cute right? I know. lol ;] well it's dinner time and my stomach is gnawing on my back lol... ENJOY!

ps:

he's my perfect stranger ;]

Relaxing.. Listen..

2009-02-20T14:30:00.000-08:00

So there's this kid who I find oh so interesting.. I mean, he's really different.. though his story isn't my business to share.. however, his music is.. it's so smooth and relaxing.. i swear i listen to every song he has sent me everyday & night.. idk.. it just takes over my mind.. relaxes me and makes me think.. he's very chill.. and goofy.. wish i recorded us on ichat.. =] he's silly.. any ways.. click the link and just listen... Weekend Lovers .. his blog .. his myspace

be sure to become his follower on his blog.. and keep up with him and his music!

im telling yu, yu won't regret it.. i promise!

MMm. Love Triangle

2009-02-20T12:59:00.000-08:00

Now everyone knows im one for the gossip. Oh how I live off of it. lol. It keeps me going! So as usual.. I was browsing the interesting reads on MEDIATAKEOUT.COM and I stumbled across a rather interesting post. Kanye West new bomb chick is in fact into GIRLS (studs).. I guess this makes them an even BOMBER couple! If I must say so myself.. to read the rest and see more photos click here. My only question is, are they still together & how does that make Kanye feel.. (what are his views) ENJOY!

New Changes

2009-02-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

Made a few changes to the blog, hope you all enjoy.. notice that the music is a lot calmer ;]

I had to take it back on a lot of the tracks.. hehe..

anyhow, i was in the car last night driving around looking for a mc donalds that was open at 2/3 am.. lol.. couldn't find out.. i thought they all were 24hrs. guess not. lol.. but this song came on and i went crazy lol. like.. it took me way back and i just bursted out singing like i was alicia keys or somebody..

so.. song of the week is: LOVE -musiq soulchild

Since Everyone Else is..

2009-02-20T09:38:00.000-08:00

Since everyone else is posting blogs on other people (& theirselves) applying makeup, I figured I might as well too. So I came across her vblog (youtube) and found that she's really good at this make up thing. lol. and I like her hair cut!.. anyhow check the video out. and her blog/twitter. Shes pretty kewl.

WOW.

2009-02-20T09:20:00.000-08:00

As I was doing my daily browse through blogs I follow..

I came across this rather interesting post.

& I had to share it with my readers.. so here it is..

EXIBIT A: RIHANA.. DAMN.. WHOEVER LEAKED THESE WILL LOSE THEIR JOB!
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.. AT LEAST WE KNOW WHAT SHE REALLY LOOKED LIKE..
AND THE PHOTO EDITED PICTURES HAVE NOTHING ON THE REAL PICTURE.. LMAO!

SO ARE THEY LIKE THE BOMBEST COUPLE?

THEY HAVE TO BE! MOVE OVER J & B

this post was found on banq! blog. besure to check it out.

it's a great read!

FOREVER 21: FAB FINDS pt1

2009-02-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

im thinking i want to start doing this every so often.. hm.. how about every friday (possibly).. yeah.. FRIDAYS FAB FINDS =] sounds good to me.. enjoy..

TOPS:

DRESSES:

OUTERWEAR:

JEANS:

BOTTOMS:

TOPS: 12.50 - 13.50

DRESSES: 15.15

OUTERWEAR: 15.50

JEANS: 12.50 - 14.50

BOTTOMS: 13.50

FRIDAYS FAB FINDS ALL UNDER 20 DOLLARS. ENJOY!

GUCCI GUCCI GUCCI

2009-02-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

idk what to think about the heel, however, the flipflop is cute and simple..

i'd wear it.. looks like a trip to starbucks type of day flipflop

this is one of the cutest long dresses i've seen. i think theyre bringing back the heel with the long dresses..

if you can't tell.. i love purple =] it's the color thats in right now

uhhg, this is sooo adorable .. are you serious.. lol..

yump this is a love outfit. tell me you wouldn't rock this..

ENJOY!

FOR YOU!

2009-02-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEW LOOK .. i think it's really cute & simple.. lol..

until next time

~peace&love~

"GOT EVERY REASON TO FEEL LIKE IM THAT BITCH"

2009-02-19T10:02:00.000-08:00

So as i promised, I'd post pics of the new me (including my 18inches of pure fun) lol..

Well, anyhow.. today's news is.. I GOT A JOB im so excited.. & though there were a lot of ppl who doubted me (don't be surprised, they always do) I'm glad to say, with the support i DID have.. I proved the haters wrong & me right =].. anywho.. let me know what you think of the new look .. until next time ..

~peace&love~

been a while

2009-02-18T10:48:00.000-08:00

yea, so it's been a while since i last posted. well, not that long ago.

anyhow.. what's new?.. hm, i have a new look. i got my hair done.. yump 18 inches of pure fun

lol... oh how i love being a girl.. not saying there's anything wrong with being a guy lol...

i just love being this girl .. well until next time .. (because i don't have to much to say right now)

~peace&love~

ps.
for my new followers.. enjoy the ride into my eyes, thanks!

iT'S HER BiRTHDAy..

2009-02-15T10:29:00.000-08:00

So on this day 14 years ago, I witnessed my niece come into this world. I didn't know, at the time, what the heck was going on. I must've been 4 yrs old at the time. All I knew was that my sister was in pain and whatever caused this massive pain was related to me. I guess ever since then the liddle pain & I have been cooler than ice on a hot sunny day. This is my niece. Today she turns 14.. Only four more years and she will be an "adult".. Wow.. It's crazy how time flys. I remember teaching her how to start a car when she

was maybe... hm... I'm thinking 5 or 6. LOL. She's my roll dog, my sidekick, my shadow.. I find it amazing that there is a person that looks up to me on ever and anything you can think of. I'm thankful she's my niece & I'm even more elated that she's a smart girl who is focused and knows what she wants in life. So with all that said..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDI AKA PRINCESS.. MAY IT BE A BLESSED ONE! XO

LOVE YA KIDD!

Vday Bday.. What a Night

2009-02-14T11:48:00.001-08:00

So today is one of my homegirls bday's and sadly i couldn't make it to her surprise party to celebrate with her.. however.. i still wish her a happy birthday..

Today is also Valentines Day.. So happy vday to you and yours with hugs and kisses...

I personally don't care to much for this day, other than the fact it's my homegirls bday. I mean I've never had a valentine or went somewhere with someone "special".. no gifts or anything.. i mean this is not including the one's you get from your friends when your in school and what not.. Well anyhow.. guess i'll tell you about my night .. boy oh boy did i have fun .. lol ... i went to this college party which was to celebrate this kids bday too. I have to admit, i didn't think it would amount to anything but woooo was i wrong.. i mean they had this drink that's called "swag juice" and idk whats all in it but it was good. it wasn't to fruity nor did it have to much alcohol in it. anyhow, the party was a "hit".. and i over enjoyed myself as well as this guy i met there.. well more like two guys i met there.. lol ;] after the party ended i, of course, stayed around a liddle longer because i road with my homeboy there.. i didn' mind helping clean up however this one really tall guy told me i was the guest and i was not to touch anything and that it was there responsibility. i could totally understand but i mean .. idk, that's the kind of person i am .. i don't mind helping other people with their mess lol..

WOW. wait. just tell me this. have you ever gone to a party and you pay no one attention because you know theyre paying attention to. lol .. well there was this one guy who walked up to me and asked me where my bf was and i was like umm.. when i get one i will let you know lol .. and he was like oh so that means i can talk to you and i was like aren't you talking to me now .. make a long story short he would not leave me alone until he got a chance to dance with me.. ommmgggg i was dancing with this kidd (i call all guys kidd) and here comes mr. stalker pulling my hand and im just laughing so hard on the inside because im not paying him no attention .. and i could see that me dancing with this guy was makin him lowkey jealous and he was watching my every move. even the guy i was dancing with was laughing and he was telling me that he was still watching me.. omg he said that the guy was looking at me and biting his lip lmaooo.. i mean he was soooo not attractive .. he had gold bottoms in his mouth and dirty dreads.. like eww get some style in your life...

well basically i had a great time and im not even home yet.. i stayed out and slept at my homeboys dorm.. so until next time ..

~peace&love~

& happy valentines day!

close your eyes.

2009-02-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

remember the china play set your parents or grandparents got you when yu

were a liddle girl?

remember your "crew" the ones who'd
always be willing to race on bikes..
even if it meant get hurt and scraped up..

remember when yu first watched love & basketball? haha.. that's my movie..

remember the first step you took when you became a teen.. 13,14,15.. where'd that step take you.. i walked right into some really good times. life then began for me..

ever spent a Christmas with the one you was in "like" with

how'd it make you feel..

i bet all tingly inside..

remember those birds that lived right outside your window and every spring/summer morning they'd sing the song that woke you up? ahaha i had one everywhere i lived.

ever skipped rocks across the lake, pond, or river?

ahh, heres a good one.. remember playing hide and go seek
and then it turned into hide and go get? ahaha (5th grade)

** remember all the good times you had when you were a few years or more younger than you are now? do you ever sit back and laugh at the crazy/adventurous things you did.. miss the friends you had to move away from.. or do you still keep in touch? the one person you were the closet with, did you lose contact and til this day wonder what he/she is doing, if their look has changed or the way they think .. im sure their thought process has matured lol.. i just wanted to sit here and remember with you all for a second. hope you don't mind.. (reggie i know you will like this post luv ya doll) until next time..

~peace&love~

Yeah Her Too..

2009-02-12T19:53:00.000-08:00

My niece just started a blog. Tehe.. I love talking people into trying new things!

She's 14, so I figure this was good for her seeing that her mother doesn't want her to have a myspace .. (lol).. but I guess that's understandable ..

Anyhow.. Show her some blog love because she oodee new to this..

anyhow, she only has one post for now.. it was late and she was due to bed, she has school in the am.. so i told her while she's sleep i'd help her get some followers .. so be sure to check her out.. by the way her names Brandi but everybody calls her Princess. & just in case youre wondering.. she edited her pic on her own.. she's like a real teen.. it's funny to me seeing her do all the things i do when it feels like just yesterday i watched her enter this world.. wow.. time flies.. well yea check her out.. the pic is also a link.

White Girl Got Hands

2009-02-12T18:11:00.001-08:00

Laugh So Hard

2009-02-12T17:28:00.001-08:00

FOLLOW AYSIA ROWE FROM SEASON 3 BHILLS

2009-02-12T14:47:00.000-08:00

HEY BLOGGER WORLD .. I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS ..

THIS IS JUST IN (AS OF TODAY) AYSIA ROWE FROM THIS SEASONS BALDWIN HILLS HAS JUST CREATED HER OFFICIAL BLOG! BE SURE TO SHOW HER SOME BLOG LOVE & BECOME A FOLLOWER AS WELL.. SHE HAS HER MYSPACE & FACEBOOK AVAILABLE FOR YOU ALL TO KEEP UP WITH HER IN HER WORLD AS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF BALDWIN HILLS.

On Twitter Today..

2009-02-12T12:19:00.000-08:00

So, today on Twitter (oh shall i say since last night) I've run into about 8 followers. The net is becoming the place to be lol.. I enjoy speaking to the people i follow and those who follow me..

Keeping up with Fendi seems to be some work..

Also, some of my Twitter followers and Blog followers have added me on Myspace & Facebook.

Im really enjoying getting to know you all.. Can't wait to share more with you. Stay tuned. & until next time ..

~peace&love~

Soulja Boy * Wayne

2009-02-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

Soulja Boy ft. WAYNE

Check it out.. haha.. i think wayne goes hard on everything he does.. and of course can get on anyone's track and

make it even more bomb lol ..

comments?

TWITTER!

2009-02-11T19:56:00.000-08:00

So, i've always had a twitter.. just never really understood it until recently. i mean just now type of recently lol.. i can't lie.. i actually dig the joint..

well if you have twitter then be sure to become a follower as i will for you...

twitter.com/fendibby

and if you don't have one.. feel free to sign up for one.. twitter.com

i guess i might as well throw a few more things out there while im at it, lol..

Karrine Steffans new book is to be released July 13th.. however.. her publisher might print the book and have it fully printed and finished with cover and all June 16th and available for pre sale June 24th .. woohoo! better believe i will be ordering it.. Pre-orders are available ONLY on amazon.com so be on the look out and also check her out on twitter and her site.. i love watching her video blogs.. she's quite the entertainer talking about all these ppl on her shit list and then just things that are going on with her and in her life..

Just One of Them Days..

2009-02-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

Jdub: Yup u definitely will.... u already have an artistic eye and u a hustla...plus u can do all thru Christ who strengthens u
Jdub: Ya diggs?
ms FENDi BBy: yeah
ms FENDi BBy: i feel where ya comin from
ms FENDi BBy: but things is hard besides my sister and all the other haters not supporting me
ms FENDi BBy: im having guy issues
ms FENDi BBy: and once again it's jaemae alone and single on vday no cards no movie no cute bear nothing i know furshur it will be that way because the guy i like is in asia
ms FENDi BBy: and on top of that idk where we stand as far as relationship wise
Jdub: Remember haters and adversity always make u stronger.... always stay in the race and keep the pace never do too much at 1ce
ms FENDi BBy: but my ex hit me like yu better have somethin for me on vday and im like yur the ex boo i dnt want to get yu nothin
Jdub: Asia?
Jdub: I feel
ms FENDi BBy: yea the country
Jdub: The ex is trippin
ms FENDi BBy: highkey too!

Jdub: Well don't trip about vday
Jdub: I got one but I don't feel loved you kno
ms FENDi BBy: yea i feel
Jdub: I wanna feel warm and gushy and shit inside
Jdub: And right now im feeling cold
ms FENDi BBy: but still it's another year added on to ALL the other years of me being by myself ..
ms FENDi BBy: yeah me too and i dont think i like it
Jdub: And I think that worst than not havin 1
Jdub: But you kno u lucky to have them years to yaself.... it refines you.... makes you independent emotionally
ms FENDi BBy: yea but then when i get around a guy that im really into i have a high time guard up

ms FENDi BBy: and it's hard
ms FENDi BBy: i never know when to say what im feelin or thinkin
ms FENDi BBy: always think im movin to fast with my emotions
ms FENDi BBy: and to slow with my actions
ms FENDi BBy: shit be haven me all types of confused
Jdub: The best thing to do and its easier said than done but with everything *** men included is that you must take 1 day at a time you kno
Jdub: If you got one foot in tuesday another in thrusday ull piss all over wednesday
Jdub: Im slowly but surely learning that
ms FENDi BBy: never looked at it like that

Jdub: Yea.... its life you know.... there's a few rules that kinda apply to everything
ms FENDi BBy: well i mean
ms FENDi BBy: idk
ms FENDi BBy: this thing has me all like in my mind
ms FENDi BBy: that im just not worth anything
ms FENDi BBy: must not be
ms FENDi BBy: because every year
ms FENDi BBy: its the same lonelyness feeling inside and outside
ms FENDi BBy: i've NEVVVVER in my life had a valentine
ms FENDi BBy: never
ms FENDi BBy: and it's not fair to me
Jdub: I feel but take me for example I feel that way with sum1
Jdub: Ya kno
Jdub: You can do bad all by yaself
Jdub: Everything under the sky happens for a reason therefore this is for a reason
ms FENDi BBy: yeah i guess
ms FENDi BBy: idk
Jdub: All this alone time is to prepare you for your mate and to first and foremost to get to kno ms. Jacinda thru-n-thru
ms FENDi BBy: shit don't ever go right for me.. it kant win for losin i swear it's always a grey cloud over my shadow

Jdub:To love yaself
ms FENDi BBy: i kant even do that much
ms FENDi BBy: im tellin yu
Jdub: Can't fully love some1 till you love yaself fully
Jdub: I feel like that too if it aint one thing its another
ms FENDi BBy: theres no winin for losin in my life never been
ms FENDi BBy: i dnt feel cute
ms FENDi BBy: ppl keep tellin me im krazie skinny
ms FENDi BBy: i need to gain weight
ms FENDi BBy: they just keep tellin me all the bad
ms FENDi BBy: all the exterior
ms FENDi BBy: and intern thats messin up my interior
Jdub: But still I know and I assure myself that trials only come to make you strong you kno? I feel like thru out all the shit I've been thru something big gotta come my way
Jdub: And the same applies to you
Jdub: I feel
Jdub: U got be the gansta I kno you to be and shake them off
Jdub: People don't validate us.... if the did well be in someones grave
ms FENDi BBy: everything yur sayin makes sense.. it's just idk theres always an obsticle before a succez but i feel in my world theres just always the obsticle and nothing else thats it dead end

Jdub: Your are beautiful girl hacienda who millions wish tell could be in your shoes
ms FENDi BBy: thanks for the comp
Jdub: You kno the phrase everything worth havin is worth working for... I see it as a back up in success.... your promised everything which is owed to you....just not in your time....because if you got everything you feel your owed do you feel you'll sincerely appreciate itz,?
ms FENDi BBy: no, i guess not. its always better to work for something and then when it's earned feel the true appreciation for it

Jdub: And then evaluate yourself..... ask yourself what am I doin wrong... and am I truly grateful for the countles blessings I have thus far??
ms FENDi BBy: no, i honestly appreciate everything good and bad thats happened for me wether it was a lesson learned for a bad choice or it was a liddle blessing
Jdub: Not to get all biblical and ish but these sayings is soo true... the bible say be good stewart over the things I have bless you with so far and then ill make you ruler over many...
ms FENDi BBy: uggghh im drowin in tears and idk if its because everything yu say is right or just because of everything in all

ms FENDi BBy: i need to go to church seriously because i have all these questions
ms FENDi BBy: and im looking for answers
Jdub: one thing I know that God love is a giver with a cheerful heart
Jdub: Give time...love... you
Jdub: You are what's priceless... worth more than anything in this world... that is important because God honor sacrifice
ms FENDi BBy: sometimes i feel worthless though
ms FENDi BBy: like
ms FENDi BBy: idk
ms FENDi BBy: im not worth any guys time

ms FENDi BBy: im not worth anything
ms FENDi BBy: no emotion no feelings no truth no anything
Jdub: And when I said be grateful I meant never complain because it can all be worst.... its always good to not complain
Jdub: Well first of all men aren't all they crack up to be u and I both kno that
Jdub: Look past the men
ms FENDi BBy: i feel, i just only wish things were a liddle better in a noncomplaining way
ms FENDi BBy: yea thats true to
Jdub: Let me ask you something seriously... u miss ya dad? Or do you have complete closure?
ms FENDi BBy: i miss him but im so confused on if im allowed to miss him seeing that he was there when i was a born up until the age of 1 or 2 and then found me when i was 14 and left me he just left me so am i allowed to miss him

Jdub: Yea ur allowed but I think that's the root to one of ya issues
Jdub: How ya relationship with g-ma
ms FENDi BBy: i speak when i call her havent seen her sense his funeral

Jdub: Ya mom?
ms FENDi BBy: the same, like .. i dnt have a mother daughter relationship.. we dnt talk about guys and whatnot its not right to me feels like she's not my mom really for me to speak on things like that with her
Jdub: Well that what it is you don't feel validated by the people you hold the closest to ya heart
ms FENDi BBy: and what do yu mean by that

Jdub: I mean you can't get love from grandma or at least the type you want...and you can't get it from ya pops cuz he passed on...
Jdub: Your hunger for love
Jdub: But now its up to you to love yaself
ms FENDi BBy: i dnt knw how

ms FENDi BBy: at least if i do im not sure that i do
Jdub: Well u gotta step out on faith and try
Jdub: Get to kno jae
Jdub: The real one
Jdub: All atl, hollywood, and bev hills aside
Jdub: And know the inner makings of you
Jdub: Like my bf he sweet in his own way but he told me that I must first get in touch with myself before I can love him
ms FENDi BBy: i guess bc im so quick to want to love someone else i nvr took the time to love me

Jdub: Slow down you have the rest of ya life to love someone else but you got growin to do ya kno...I believe 1 never is fully grown till they love and kno yaself
ms FENDi BBy: true.

Jdub: Jae u kno I see u like fam and im here anytime u need me
ms FENDi BBy: yea i knw i really appreciate everything yuve ever said to me
ms FENDi BBy: thats helped me mentally

i full appreciate the words that where shared with me.. i honestly needed it .. because i was having just one of them days... (monica)... and i seriously didn't want to take it out on anyone so i waited until the end of the day where i sit and reflect and thought instead of taking it out to talk about it and see if there was any advice out there for me.. i always go to him* when i need some words of wisdom a quick laugh or just an ear.. thanks boo!

Patiently Waiting

2009-02-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

im the type to get confused easily..

abused by love repeatedly..

heart broken physically..

mind confused; yea all mentally..

is it me or is it reality,

telling me this life wasn't meant to be.

well this life is here so it's meant for me,

but is this way?

is this the view im suppose to see?.

i often sit and think; yea contemplate..

pondering on the past like "what if this and what if that.."

thinkin about a few things that often get me mad.

i wonder will love ever look for me

or will i go blind straining to see?

well until love an i unite,

i'll continue to sit and let this time pass me by.

patiently waiting ; by me =]

LiSTEN UPP..

2009-02-09T17:30:00.000-08:00

i've been trying my best with helping this kid i somewhat know .. his music is undescribeable to the "T".. to sum it up he's in his own category .. and yes i really like his music .. it's soon going to be the type of music to take over .. yu just watch . and i know just about everyone likes this chill type of music .. better known to us as HIP-HOP.. no NOT rap ... theres a major difference .. get it together ppl lol .. any who .. add him on myspace .. i will be posting some music of his later .. oh yea check out his blog to ..

chozeakajohnnymartian

chozeandnbgang

ON THT NU NU iSH*

2009-02-09T16:59:00.000-08:00

new sn: hehe .. i dnt mind anyone aiming me ..

MSFENDiBBY

peace&love

ii WANT iiT ii NEED iiT

2009-02-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

bomb. need i say more.. glass ashantis back ..

BBY THATS NOT CUTE!

2009-02-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

"The “Forever” singer was booked and released after paying 50-thousand-dollars bail. The LAPD notes that Brown could face additional charges once their investigation wraps up. Reps for Chris Brown and Rihanna, who have been romantically linked in the tabloids for months, have yet to comment. Get This Chris Brown and Rihanna got into a heated argument which was reportedly about how Rihanna gave him Herpes, which resulted in him giving Rihanna a messed up face and reportly broken Jaw. " read more

* now yu are more than welcome to share yur thoughts .. however, this is my opinion .. i dnt believe in guys hitting girls, however, because i once had a liddle run in with Rihanna; I would've hit her too, if I were Chris.. she has a terrible attitude .. and a smart ass mouth .. so i really don't feel sorry for her in no kind of way..

Though, on the flip side .. Chris didn't have to hit her.. he could've yelled at her .. or something .. and that's kind of what he gets for laying down with protection ..

"SAFE SEX IS GREAT SEX, BETTER WEAR A LATEX, KUZ YU DNT WANT THAT LATE TEXT, THAT I THINK IM LATE TEXT.." (wayne)

now.. though he didn't get a late text.. he still shouldve worn a latex .. ITS A BOMB THING TO GET TESTED PPL.. DNT BE AFRAID TO KNOW.. KNOWING IS GOOD! and just because yu may be "IN LOVE" with a person doesn' mean the second yu figure it out yu sex without a rubber .. thats a no no .. meaning DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT 200, GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL lol .. if that makes sense .. but yea on a serious tip .. GET IT TOGETHER PPL .. safe sex is great sex.. and get tested .. knowing is beautiful! until next time ..

~peace&love~

the makings of..

2009-02-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

what are the makings of a hoe? what defines one, what are the details of one..

are girls considered hoes by the amount of sexual partners they've had.. if the sexual partners knew eachother (we're friends/associates).. is it where she allowed the sexual activity took place.. what she did or allowed to be done? .. or is it when yu just don't care about talking about what yu did with who and where yu mightve done it..? are yu a hoe if yu dont mind trying new things with different ppl, or just like to hook up with ppl (not random ppl; that's a liddle bizzar).. i was just sitting here wondering .. like what are the makings of a hoe .. i mean im not a hoe, whore, slore, or any of the other terms.. it just amazes me how ppl judge ppl based off of the things they do in their personal time ..

wth; fuckery

2009-02-09T10:18:00.001-08:00

i mean wth is going on .. who hit who and for what reason's .. i thought (honestly) not to entertain this nonsense but as usual, i couldn't help myself .. i mean what kind of fuckery is this .. get it together people .. shhhesshhh.. and thats all im saying about it.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

keeping up with the kardashians

2009-02-09T10:01:00.000-08:00

all i know is these are the sweetest girls i will ever know .. (& i miss my khlo$) ..

anyways yu better tune into their show "KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS" on VH1!

hm..idk;bobby

2009-02-08T16:49:00.000-08:00

sooooo, basically i had a pretty wild weekend..

and as bad as i would like to share my recent events,
i think i might just keep this one to myself lol ..

well i guess i will share just a tid bit.. i ate a lot .. lmao..! oh and i kept calling everyone bobby.. and now i got everbody callin somebody bobby.. hm; idk.. bobby..

but i did come to a realization on one thing .. but i dont think i know just yet how to approach it.. hm, think i need help .. yu see it's quite simple really when yu think about it, but then when yur actually the one "expierencing" it.. it's a whole nother ball game .. =/ hm; idk.. i guess i will just go with the flow.. until next time..

~peace&love~

blahh;

2009-02-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

this is my everyday life in a shell.. ..
im the center of my world.. and everyone in or around it just lives in it. . hehe . . this collage couldn't have made the picture more clearer.. LLs.. jkin but yea this isn't even 1/4th of my fam, or my world..

just a random thought so i posted this

nothing to serious.. it's cold and im about to take a shower,

i just came back in from my roon .. it was a good one & now im waiting for

tay to come.. im babysitting today.. maybe i'll post pictures later.. peace!

around the neighborhood..

2009-02-06T11:07:00.001-08:00

soooo, i've been on this workout thing.. and i've been trying to gain weight..

well the guy i've been talking to says i shouldn't try to gain weight, i should be happy the way i am. i mean i guess that makes sense but i want to feel like i look good.. not just look good lol..

no but really on a more serious note..

i wake up;
go running for 25-20 minutes (with the dog)
come in, glass of water (i've been on this water thing lately)
eat a nice (but small portioned breakfast)

shower and get ready for my day.. (all by 1ish 2ish; i tend to wake up late)
oh yea and waking up early is another thing im working on .. hehe ..

once i've gone about my day doing the usual; babysitting, blogging, reading, writing..
it would be around the time to run again .. (i plan to run twice a day)

before i get ready for bed;
go running for 30-35 minutes (with the dog)
come in, glass of water
a nice liddle healthy snack bar
shower & then off to bed.. (all by 10ish)
*i've been working on going to bed "early" so my days can be longer.. hehe ..

hm, i will post a pic of what i look like now and then lets say in a month and a half i will post a pic of what i will then look like.. motivation is key! woohoo to working out & being healthy ..

SKEME THE DUKE. FUK THE RADIO VOL.1

2009-02-05T19:57:00.000-08:00

Check out the homies music.. I personally think his s* goes super dumbiedomb but then again so does all of Los Angeles and the people who've heard in club's in Atlanta.. So with that said, you should download the mixtape here: Fuck the Radio Vol. 1 (Make sure you're at the show on the 11th at The Knitting Factory, Casey Veggies will be performing Pop Champagne w/ Skeme)

yu tell me..

2009-02-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

is she cute or what? lol .. sn: jayfendii

evr woke up like this?

2009-02-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

haha.

& jst ddnt knw wht to thnk.

how to respond, where to look?
.BOMBNiiGHTs.

do yu care?

2009-02-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

United States

" In the United States, more than 37 million people live below the poverty line; approximately 74 percent of them are located in major metropolitan areas. A wide variety of social, historical, cultural, educational and structural factors contribute to the persistence of poverty in the world’s richest nation. Despite these obstacles, poor people are embracing microentrepreneurship as a pathway out of poverty. In fact, many clients of U.S. microlenders break out of dead-end jobs, unemployment and dependence on public assistance to become successful entrepreneurs, creating jobs for their families and their communities. " - forgot what site i got this from..

the important thing is.. before we can help others... we might want to start with what we call home.. just thought to hit the softer side .. =]

make upp anyone?

2009-02-05T14:22:00.000-08:00

her blog is over the top on wow status.. i mean its just perfect lol..

well heres a video of her apply make up. she's really good for someone who didn't understand the art in it.. until she started playing around with a few things and mastered it on her own..

check her blog out.. 'LAALAA ONLINE'

a new look

2009-02-05T14:20:00.001-08:00

amazing how different she looks. id say time did her good.. looks like she grew out of whatev stage she was in.. found this on another blog site.. her blog is pretty good... i have to look for her blog so i can post it as a link. heres her link.. x__love love

Growing Up; Love Lessons

2009-02-05T12:07:00.000-08:00

How'd yu feel when yu noticed the guys yu liked are now considered liddle boys..
How'd yu feel when yu noticed yu wanted something more.. something more on yur level..
How'd yu feel when yu realized that what yu wanted was a real man, a grown man.. a man who understood yur worth; rubbed yur feet; watched what he hated just bc yu liked it; playd in yur hair until yu fell asleep..; knew when to get yur favorite candy or soda (as silly as that may sound).

.. Well i just realized that what im use to isn't what i want anymore.. Im so content with what time has introduced to me.. the transition from what i was use to, to what i now have was a rollercoaster ride furshur! but i mean it is what it is and im happy with this amazing change. this may not make any type of sense to yu, however, it's just how im feeling and what im thinking at the moment.. so i guess, bare with me.. =/ lol.. i mean he makes me smile when im pissed off at him, he makes me giggle when he smiles.. and when he's gone he never fails to make it seem like he's still around the corner..

so song of the day .. Grown Man by Wayne ft Currency .. which also my all time fav!

SEAN KINGSTON * SOULJA BOY * BOW WOW * LAMBO'S..

2009-02-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

they are a hot mess.. and to be honest with you.. i heard about this before either of the 3 posted their videos about it.. i heard about it when s.b was talkin about postin the video like a day or two before.. then heard about lbw wantin to do then did it and uh ohboy.. sean wantin to post one just because he thought they were funny. guess he wanted to laugh to. lol. his video was made the night before the super bowl (sat. jan 31).. i get my info straight from the sources mouth.
**I must admit, that Gucci jacket goes a liddle hard.. scot storch has good taste lol..

SIDEKICK 09 aka: sidekick blade

2009-02-03T17:17:00.000-08:00

thoughts?...

** i personally think it's bomb! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than ANY of the other ones.. FURSHUR!

L0WKEY

2009-02-03T08:37:00.000-08:00

Oo..

i just got in the house at 10:15 am & figured to jump on here and tell you a liddle about my night.
but i figured, i'd rather not make anyone jealous.. ;] aha! jp.. no but seriously, you knw how yur night can be just that bomb to the point where usually yu'd tell a homegirl.. instead this time yu want to keep it to yurself bc it was just that bomb of a night. i mean no matter what it is.. no matter what yu did that night.. yu just want to keep it all to yurself and replay it over and over in yur mind.. well; yu knw what i say.. until next time

~peace&love~

ILL;KINDA

2009-02-01T22:28:00.000-08:00

I LOVE HER BLOG & APPARENTLY SHE'S FOUND OF MINE CHECK HER OUT: ILL;KINDA
THANKS FOR KEEPING UP WITH MY BLOG
ITS IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.
SORRY FOR THE COMMENT ISSUE.
I HAD NO CLUE IT WOLDN'T ALLOW YOU OR ANYONE ELSE TO LEAVE THEM
IT SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK NOW. SO FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AND IF IT DOESN'T THEN I DO APOLOGIZE.

AND IN RE: I MEAN TO EACH IS OWN WHEN IT COMES TO THE PICS, HOWEVER, I REALLY THINK ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS TO THE POINT WHERE JAIL SHOULD EVER BE INVOLVED. BUT A FORM OF PUNISHMENT SHOULD FOR THOSE UNDER AGE.

02.01.09

2009-02-01T20:18:00.000-08:00

SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I LAST POSTED.. BEEN JUST FOCUSED I GUESS.. IDK

ANYWAYS.. I HAVE A QUESTION .. MAYBE YOU CAN ANSWER IT..

I HAVE THIS THING WHERE IM KEWL WITH THE EX BOO'Z RIGHT; NOW I LEARNED TO JUST NOT BE AND LET THEM BE A THING IN THE PAST .. CONTINUING ON,...

EX BOO1 AND EX BOO2 KNOW EACHOTHER (NO, THEY AREN'T FRIENDS)

SINCE BEING BACK HOME I JUST STARTED KICKIN IT WITH EX BOO1 WHICH IS KEWL BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS THERES A NEW BOO IN THE PICTURE AND WE AREN'T ANYTHING MORE OR LESS THAN FRIENDS; AT THE SAME TIME HE TOLD ME "I'LL GIVE DUDE A CHANCE BUT WHEN HE F* UP & HE WILL F* UP, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING TO PICK UP THE PIECES." THATS KEWL AND ALL BUT IDK.. I LEARNED MY LESSON ON "ATTEMPTING" TO GET BACK WITH THE EX BOO WHILE IN LA.. SO ANYHOW EX BOO1 UNDERSTANDS AND WE'VE BEEN KICKIN IT FOR LIKE THE PAST HM 3-4 DAYS (KEEP THAT IN MIND)

NOW EX BOO2 AND I ENDED ON A REALLLLLLY BAD NOTE SO I LET HIM DO HIM AND GLADLY WENT ON WITH MY LIFE (AS NORMAL FOR SOME) WELL JUST A FEW DAYS AGO HE HAD CAME ACROSS MY PAGE AND HIT ME UP LIKE WHATS UP BOO WOO WOO WOO .. NOW OF COURSE BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW BOO I WAS LIKE HOLD UP IM NOT YOUR BOO #1 AND TWO HI HOW ARE YOU SO ANYWAYS WE MADE PLANS TO KICK IT AT HIS HOUSE FOR THE SUPER BOWL.. ME HIM AND A FEW OF THE HOMIES FROM SKEWL.. SO AFTER HALF TIME WE WENT FOR A WALK I GUESS TO JUST TALK ABOUT WHATEVER BEEN GOIN ON IN OUR LIVES SINCE I BEEN IN LA AND HE BEEN HERE.. ANY WHO.. WE WALKED AND HE WAS LOWKEY TRYIN TO FORCE FEELINS THAT WERENT THERE BY SAYIN THINGS LIKE I LOVE YU AND TELL ME YU LOVE ME (WELL I DNT) AND LIKE I GUESS HE WUDNT ACCEPT THAT SO HE LIKE TRIED TO KISS ME AND I GOT OUT THE WAY.. I WASNT FOR IT .. NEVER CHEATED NEVER WILL (THAT SHIT HURTS) WE STARTED PLAY FIGHTIN AND I PUSHED HIM AWAY KUZ HE WAS GETTIN TO CLOSE AND AS I DID THAT I CALLED HIM EX BOO1 NAME.. BUT ONLY BECAUSE EX BOO1 AND EX BOO2 WERE FORCING FEELINGS THAT JUST ARENT THERE ANYMORE.. AND IT HAD ME THINKIN LIKE THIS NIGGA IS AKTIN LIKE EX BOO1..

NOW HERES MY QUESTION: I KNOW IM IN THE WRONG FOR CALLIN A PERSON SOMEONE ELSES NAME, I'D BE MAD TOO, HOWEVER.. HE SHOULDVE NEVER BEEN TRYIN TO FORCE FEELINGS THAT ARENT THERE ANYMORE AND WILL NEVER BE.. IS THIS A SITUATION WHERE I JUST LET GO COMPLETELY OF HIM, LIKE HIM OUT OF MY LIFE IN ALL, AND KEEP HIM IN THE PAST AS HE'S BEEN THESE LAST 3 YRS OF ME BEING LA? I MEAN BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN BEING FRIENDS WITH THE EX BOO'S NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY MIGHT COME IN HANDY.. WHEN YU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO OR JUST KICK IT WITH..

~PEACE&LOVE~

iJERK!

2009-02-01T20:17:00.000-08:00

iJERK!

2009-02-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

THIS GOES .. HAHA .. THE NEW JERK! YEAH I MISS LA!

untitled

2009-01-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

(HiiM) (5:27:41 PM): Sick
Auto Response from jayfendii (5:27:41 PM): "..sick from all these lies and all these games.."currently: eating; washing; cleaningtext/call it.
jayfendii (5:28:33 PM): huh?
Auto Response from (HiiM) (5:29:01 PM): W/E !!!!!
(HiiM) (5:29:06 PM): Stop fucking talking about me Like u said were Friends
jayfendii (5:29:44 PM): I'm not talking about you.. and you told me we were friends so i was just going along with what you told me.

we're fighting the fact that we really can't go a day without saying at least one word or sentence to each other. the things he says can sometime make me want to slap the sh* out of him but i make a list in my head of all the good and all the bad. and on my list the good exceeds the bad and at the end of the day all the good in him makes me smile. we had an argument yesterday, I'd say it was a big deal.. though the way it began wasn't. the argument really opened my eyes and idk maybe that's why i couldn't see much when they were "closed" anyways .. he said we were just friends (which was fine with me taking it slow is good) but then yesterdays argument came and he's pissed because i reminded him the words that fell from his lips. insane I'd say but I'm to much in "like" with him to just let it go. at times he can be simple minded but the simplicity is what i like about his character i guess.. he def needs help figuring things out and i def need help explaining the things to him that are often on my mind. this is going to be hard for me seeing that he leaves at the end of this month and will not be back home for another two months due to their touring schedule.. the limited time is stressful, however, when it's something worth fighting for .. believe me, you should fight for it..

01.26.09

2009-01-26T16:19:00.000-08:00

"but just cuz im cryin yall, don’t mean that im the victim, it just means I was scared to let him go cuz some other chick might get him. & that was my fault because it was my decision. I should have never put my heart in my minds position. but I couldn’t shake him, he was like a bad habit. & all this for a nigga that was just average. doin average nigga shit.. like talkin out the side of his neck & thinkin with his dick. but I must admit he was the one I wanted to commit. so either I wasn’t livin up to my potential or I was just an average chick. but I choose to believe I was a woman caught up in a feelin both physical and emotional, who was way too willing to give her all to a man. & though it may sound stupid, id do it all again. except this time for a man that likes me back, & not a man I call my friend…"

*this was on my friends away.. idk who wrote it, but i like it..

GUESS I'VE BEEN LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER BE.. THAT LOVE THAT GROWS AND BUILDS THAT BEAUTIFUL TREE.. SOMETHING OH SO WORTHY.. BUT I GUESS IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.. DO YOU BLAME ME FOR MY UNLOVING ABILITY?? MY TRUE CHARACTER HIDES BEHIND IT'S SHADOW.. SCARED ITS TO STRONG FOR HIM TO HANDLE.. I SLEPT IN HIS, WOKE UP IN HIS.. BUT THIS MEANT NOTHING.. NOTHING MORE OR LESS THAN WHAT IT WAS OR WHAT IT IS..PROMISED ME SOMETHING WITHOUT THE RING, TOLD HIM PROMISES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN.. SO DON'T PROMISE ME ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S SOMETHING YOU MEAN.

*BROKEN_PROMISES* by: me

01.20.09

2009-01-20T15:31:00.000-08:00

So today is the first time I've ever heard about the term "INAUGURATION" (sorry if that's ignorant of me).. and today is also the first day I've ever seen the President sworn in. I'm elated that today I could witness such a historical moment in all of our lives. I never once would have imagined it. The difference with the dreams back then kids had and the dreams of the kids today is.. back then you'd never once hear a (child of "color") say' "One day I will be the President," and now, this day, or rather since the campaign for the 09 election began.. the kids of today can dream big! You will hear a child say' "One day I will be the President!"

Just to sidetrack a little.. Today was lowkey stressful.. I had to register for spring semester, get my financial aid form completed, and take the test that the school I'm going to requires. Next will be orientation (Feb 27th) then registering for my classes. I'm happy that I've managed to do this on my own for the most part .. I'm learning my sense of independence. until next time ..

~PEACE&LOVE~
& HAPPY BARACK OBAMA DAY!

01.19.09

2009-01-19T17:38:00.001-08:00

guess it would be wrong to not post something on a day like this ..

i can't believe today is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. birthday (one of the best days in the year)
and its a day to say tomorrow it's official .. my President is BLACK! this is a time that i never even thought would happen .. i mean it would've been a big deal if the president turned out to be a white lady .. but not so much as the president being black .. biracial to be exact! .. someone i could actually relate to will be running the place where i live.. wow! that's truely amazing ..

happy MLK day
and remember this day forever in time!

**we're only one step away from another day in history**

now i have something to get off my chest .. 1st i started reading this book call Flyy Girl it's really good so far and i cannot put it down .. anyhow .. it's only 11 more days until my Mr. Perfect leaves to go on tour .. and when will he return .. idk .. i try not to be to nozy .. good thing they made ichat .. because idk if i could 2 months (or however long he'll be gone) without seeing him.. i know one thing, i'll def miss my baby! until next time ..

~PEACE&LOVE~

09.16.09

2009-01-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

first i want to say, after researching further into my previous blog.. i've found that the law was made to abide by minors only .. and of course the disgusting adults who receive the pictures from the minors .. however if youre an adult then you are free to do whatever you like just as long as it doesn't involve a minor. and just to add my two cents .. i think this is one of the messiest laws ever made .. how did it just come out of no where .. anyways enough about that ..

i have a question .. is it just me or do you often go through this as well ..

how is it that i can help everyone else with their problems and yet i cannot take my own advice and help myself out with my "relationship" problems and questions .. ugggh .. what a mess .. its so hard to do anything with a guard up .. and i have no idea on how to let it down .. i just want to say whats on my mind and how i feel .. and let that be that .. well of course get a positive response .. this is making life complicated for me .. ugggh i cant deal! someone help me . leave a comment of advice if you will ..

until next time

~PLEASE&LOVE~

01.15.09

2009-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

latest news.. gossip.. whatever you'd like to call it..

i received a text from my sister saying: better not send naked pics to phones the "phone law" is looking in to cell phones and on your pages (doesn't matter what site) and if you have them you will be charged with "sex ting". 6 kids in PA are being charged so tell your friends..

personally i don't do the nude or semi nude pictures and sending them to peoples phone .. however, if you do .. hey that's you .. that's whatever .. but just in case they are serious about this chill with forwarding your body to whomever is interested in viewing it ..

my only problem is .. when she called me to further explain this "new law" a few thoughts popped up in my mind .. she said 1) doesn't matter your age 2) its considered child pornography.

OK .. now what happens when those commercials come on saying do you want a Jena Jamison picture sent to your phone and she has nothing but a tiny bikini on (these are examples) and the simple fact that some people are over 18 sending these risky pictures.. shouldn't' they be allowed to do whatever it is they want to do with their phones and their body's? ..

now im not saying im for or against the sending of nude or half nude pictures, however, i do have plenty questions in regardS to the decision they've made .. i will do my best to find an article on this and post it.. for now .. leave your input .. do you think it's serious enough to go to jail just because you sent or received a nude or semi nude picture?

until next time ...

~PEACE&LOVE~

ps.
heres part of an article .. click the link to view more..

"A 15-year-old Ohio girl was arrested earlier this month for sending nude photos of herself to other minors and was facing felony criminal charges for illegally using a minor in nudity-oriented material and for possession of criminal tools. If convicted, the teen could have been forced to register as a sexual offender annually for ten years."

now this i can understand .. SHES 15 .. still .. i dont think its that serious to be charges and convicted for it..

Teen 'sexting' craze leading to child porn arrests in US

SEXTING - teens love to send nude photos

01.15.09

2009-01-15T09:18:00.000-08:00

"for those of us who fall for the sweet talker, but he always has an excuse as to why he can't come around...
you might think you have struck gold when he is in your ear with all of the "honey's" "baby"s & crap but don't let that fool you. His sweet nothings are just that. They are much easier to say than "I'm not feelin' you" Remember that actions speak louder than words...." (http://theenusoul.blogspot.com/)

when i came across her blog i read this very carefully .. and thought to myself .. wow .. that's so true.. like right now im kind of "involved" with this person who speaks of sweet nothings.. and i fall for every word that flows ever so smoothly out of his mouth .. its like it almost comes as natural as blinking for me to fall for those kinds of guys .. even though i know its just that .. sweet nothings.. i can never shake it .. the thought of it possibly being true sweet somethings is enticing. and i nevertheless continue to hope and dream that one day it is true and those sweet nothings daringly turn into sweet somethings..

tell me, do you fall for those sweet nothings?
or do you feed them the words of never ending possibilities?...

until next time ..

~PEACE&LOVE~

01.14.09

2009-01-14T22:49:00.000-08:00

listening to amy winehouse & talking.. im really thinking..

boy oh boy is this THE most hardest thing for me to do.. its really not as easy as it may seem.. expressing my feeling (emotions) doesnt just happen.. i get scared .. and right now theres a guard up but i feel its keeping me from saying how i feel when i feel it.. idk, but it takes a lot for me to like a person and when i do i like hard.. i dont do relationships because in the past ive been hurt.. i've had a "niggas" mind state for the past 3 yrs (lol.. tara) .. im to be honest its getting old .. im just ready for one thing and thing only..

Amy Winehouse - Love Is A Losing Game.mp3 - Amy Winehouse

01.14.09

2009-01-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

and for some reason, people out in atlanta don't understand this fashion .. my friends ask me why do i dress the way i do.. why do i wear these strings, bands, and scarfs around my head the way i do.. silly people.. WAKE UP ITS 09 .. excessively long wavy (or straight) hair, big earrings, small jeans, jeans looking shoes, flat boats, long "lazy fitting" shirts, random color polish, and big glasses.. its the HIPPIE LOOK.. get into it. anyways i thought this was cute so i decided to share it with you all.. she's just to adorable!

CUTE OR WHAT

2009-01-14T14:03:00.001-08:00

I LOVE HER HAIR!

2009-01-14T13:42:00.001-08:00

2009-01-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

do whatever it is you want to do .. work with whoever it is you want to work with ..

as long as you work with and from your heart ..

make sure every liddle thing you do is real no matter what or you won't get anywhere in life..

simple as that. until next time...

~PEACE&LOVE~

FACEBOOK CONVO.

2009-01-13T15:51:00.000-08:00

i thought this might be something interesting for other readers, besides those on facebook.

THIS WAS POSTED IN "NOTES".. (female writer remains nameless)

Do you ever wonder why it is so hard for a great girl to find a guy that's worth it ?You sit around and tlk to these boys that you swear have the best intentions for both u n him ...you sit in front of them and givin them all you got .but they STiLL play you ...Why is it that most of the wonderful and true girlz out there cant find a man thats worth it ? I read a quote the other day that said,"Girls are like parking spots .The good ones are taken, and all the others are either not worth it or handicapped !"Well we can say the same for guys .Now-a-days , all thats left are guys that make stupid decisions and throw away the good girls for easy hoes .Well, all i can say is, your loss ...cuz you never know what you have until you lose it ...and once its gone , you can NEVER get it back . And for all the guys that had me and FOOLiSHLY let me go ...i feel sorry for you ...you lost a GREAT girl .

RESPONCES:

Kenny Lewis at 1:15am January 13
I gotta slide throu and jus say dat girls are madd picky...and guys are more open minded to females.....and with that said other girls get madd an are quick to down grade another female if a good guy is talkin to them.... I mean im picky two but dam yall girls want everything and yall wouldnt see a good thing if it hit yall in da head.......No disrespect i understand high standards but yall gotta follow yall heart and not ur minds......and also dere is two side to a coin........basically sayin we go throu da same shit. yall jus talk bout it MORE..........JUS HAD TO PUT MY lil INPUT IN!!!!!!1

Kristen Brown at 1:21am January 13
lol thank you author kenny ...i feel you ..but i understand ya'll go through the same thing, but its not that we are picky . if you talk to a guy and he cheats on u or tries to play you ,it just happens . Following your heart is sometimes what gets you hurt . im picky because of what i have been thru .i cant tlk for everyone but i can tlk for myself . wen i tlk to a guy he has my ALL ...with me not tlkin to anyone else .and i still get played .so its not a fact of bein picky .TRUST i give every guy a certain type of chance ...but once i see u slippin even a lil bit i dont try no more cuz that only brings pain ...sooo ......the stereotype brought upon boyz are brought because they asked for it !

Kenny Lewis at 1:29am January 13
hahahaha....hate hate hate...chill ....girls think any lil thing that a guy does is cheating or sumhow they feel played..WHY IS DAT???????everyone fucks up and everyone shuld have a second chance...but yall get stuck in FUCK HIM mode and go madd wild...but i guess if u say so........But its not always us SOMETIMES IT YALL?????

Traice 'Tre' Brown at 1:29am January 13
Truth = trust.If you're honest with somebody then they should be 100% completely honest with you, regardless of love or friendship.if you're giving 50% and the other person is giving 50%, that's not good enough. Even in a friendship it should be 100% all the way through.

Kenny Lewis at 1:30am January 13
i agree son

Traice 'Tre' Brown at 1:32am January 13
Relationships go both ways, not just dudes and not just females.If you're going to be committed to somebody, then you'd do anything you could to keep 'em around.If you hear something from a homegirl that the dude isn't doing what he needs to, then honestly......how strong was the relationship in the first place if that's all it takes to leave somebody?

LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS IN A COMMENT.. THIS IS A STRONG TOPIC..

search me on facebook; jacinda travis.. http://facebook.com

2009-01-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

You know, in the beginning I didn't know which thought to blog about tonight.. I still don't .. I'll just let my fingers do the typing (talking)..

TODAY: this whole day i constantly thought about appearance. they say appearance is everything, and indeed it is. now-a-days thats what people see first, then personality. it use to be personality then appearance. well, i've come to conclusion that im not quite satisfied with mine. shocked? so i am i. i know in my first blog for this year i said i like to reinvent myself and by doing so that included my hair and the way i dress. im still down with the change in how i dress, but i need to change my hair yet again to be 100% content with myself. idk, i think sometimes i keep my appearance a certain way not so much for my sake, my happiness, but for others. i guess i try to please others and what they want and think is best when it comes to my appearance. strange right? yea i know.. there are a lot of people (younger than i) that i look to for the latest trends in the fashion of hair. im just trying to complete myself .. im not sure really but i think if i change my hair now, then i will be elated and everything will fall in place. ok, so youre wondering what will fall in place if my hair changes.. well .. lets say this has a liddle to do with a certain person.. idk.. feelings are def there.. and theyre def strong and i just want to make sure that its not to perfect to where i get scared and get a feeling that it wont work out (thats what usually happens) but i want to just make everything easy. uggh .. does this make any sense? well until next time..

QQ: do you think its ok to change yourself as far as appearance to please others, or simply a person who's attention you want to catch? leave a comment .. the advice is greatly needed.

LESSON: (off topic) when you want to become a better listener, use your ears & not ear pieces baught from a spy shop. when you want to see what someone else is seeing to better understand them, just open your eyes & not buy spywear glasses that records everything.. to be a better friend all you need to do is be there physically, mentally, and emotionally.

~PEACE&LOVE~

2009-01-12T06:50:00.001-08:00

sorry, i've been really busy lately ..

i'll be sure to post something interesting later ..

LESSON: promise are made to be broken. so don't expect nothing but that of.

~PEACE&LOVE~

Such Thing As Perfect?

2009-01-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

TODAY: my day started early.. received a phone call from a person
who will remain nameless (Mr. Anonymous) around 9:20 am.. and for those of you who may be reading this and you know me ..
DONT EVER CALL ME THAT EARLY unless youre dying.. and even then you might not want to call me because it all depends on if i even consider you a friend.. lol j/p.. so anyhow .. i basically want to say this person makes me smile .. (from ear to ear) makes me feel butterflies in my tummy and idk why because we've only hung out once .. (so far) .. but theres just this thing .. and idk what that "thing" is just yet but whatever it is i sure want to find out more about it .. i mean idk idk idk IDK I D KKKKKKKKKK! lol .. he said "..this is to perfect huh?" and that just it .. when things get to perfect for me, something ends up wrong and whatever it is never seems to work out .. hhm (sigh) .. i guess we'll just have to see, right? until next time..

QQ: if this world we live in isn't perfect, then how is it that some of us stumble across perfect moments.. perfect people.. perfect anything? and if something seems so perfect, how come it ends up the opposite of what you wanted.. what you expected?

LESSON: no, theres no such thing as perfect (in reality), however, the best way to see if what you think is perfect is to give time a chance ..

~PEACE&LOVE~